Friday, October 10, 2014

Change in Plans!

So...Mommy had a doctor's appointment and scan of you yesterday.  You looked really always do (except that one time the sonographer and I couldn't get you to wake up for the life of us....but gave you an NST a while later and you did just fine!).  And Mommy's blood pressure was 158/74.  I asked if I could have her take it again (because I know part of that "high-ness" is from me being nervous about having a high reading).  She had me lay on my left side for a few minutes and took it again and it was 133/64.  Much better...but the only problem there is that I don't live life laying on my left side! So, Dr. F comes in and we talk about the high pressure some - usually he is really easy going about stuff.  And he was this time too, saying 158 isn't THAT high...especially since it went down with the second reading. But, we could "make a case" now to get you out at 38 weeks instead of 39 (which was already on the schedule for Oct. 20th).   I was a bit surprised.  I have had a borderline high reading here and there...but have been pretty good lately, except for this week. He's always been very easy going about my BP numbers, so I was shocked he was actually saying this!  He looks at the calendar and said...well, Oct. 13 would be 38 weeks, so if you are good with it, we can schedule his birthday for that date.  I just looked at him and said, "Are you serious?".  Your Daddy and I always joke that as long as we make it to 36+ weeks, we'd love to have you anytime after.  But, once that actually happens it gets a little real! I called your Daddy and told him the news and asked what he thought.  We both agreed that if the Doc thinks it's needed then we will trust his judgement since he does this a lot! I went out after that and talked to the c-section scheduler at the doc's office and she said she'd work with the hospital to get us in on Oct. 13th.  And she did...Oct. 13th at 11am.  Yikes!  At that point, that's like only four days away!  Good thing I have gotten most everything done!  Just a few loose ends to tie up and rework people to watch Avery too.  That was the hardest part because your Mimi and Pa had that job, but were now not going to be able to be here for your birth. Luckily, your Sister Meggie has the day off of school and Sister KK will come and they will tag team Avery while we have you and then come to the hospital later in the day to meet you! Like I said, your Mimi and Pa will be there a few days later and your Nana will be there a couple days after that.

Now, I just fight the mental aspect of all of this.  Getting surgery, getting you out...and seeing you outside of the womb that you are a healthy little boy.  Some of this starts messing with my brain and causes me to worry.  What I have realized is that God has ordained this.  You are coming into our lives to bring joy...and He is just clearing the path for this to happen. If I don't recognize the joy and appreciate it...I will miss out on God's blessings entirely.  Or least a lot of them.  And that would be something I would totally regret later on.  So, my mind is stuck on what is TRUE (Phil 4:8) instead of what "could be."  God's truth is that He provides children as a blessing.  And you, my son, are something we never thought we would have (a boy!)...and there is no way satan is stealing that joy from me.  Once I got over the initial shock of, "Oh my...FOUR days!", mixed with a sudden fear of all the bad "what if's"...and I focused on God's goodness, I started feeling like four days is way too long!  I can't wait!  You are the end result of the c-section...and as much as getting cut open sucks, I get YOU after that!  And this Mama CANNOT wait to have a little boy to cuddle with!  I'm pumped, Josiah!  We have seen so much of you in sonogram pictures, I truly cannot wait to see you in my arms!  I love you...and will SEE YOU SOON!

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