The next couple days are a blur. We breastfed fairly well and I was recovering as good as the next new mama. We had a scare with some jaundice with you on the 2nd night after you were born. Your Mimi first said something about you being a little yellow and then later that night, I mentioned that to a nurse. They took your blood work and your bilirubin levels were high. Dang it. And with having higher levels for this, it made you sleepier and not wanting to eat. Which is what we needed you to do to pass those bilirubins out of you and get your levels lower. You had to spend a night under the florescent lights, which was horrible on your Dad and I because you could only be in your diaper and had to wear goggles. You didn't like it much and it just plain sucked to see you squirming around, hating your new way of life. I know this is very normal, but it was truly rough to go through. I cannot even imagine what mommies with babies in the NICU go through. Ugh. In the end, we supplemented with a little formula to get you to have more to eat (thank goodness you are not picky and easy going with breastfeeding and formula - didn't bother you a bit!). That did get you to eat a little more until my milk came in more. We stayed an extra night to make sure your levels went down....and they did. And you pooped out the bilirubins like a champ and we never had to worry about that again.
Other than that the hospital stay was pretty good. My tummy was feeling a little better each day....and I was getting a little stronger too. My feet, on the other hand, were getting even more swollen! The docs and nurses said this was normal from all the fluids they pumped into me for delivery (and my body still not realizing that there was no baby to take care of in there anymore!). They were so round and paddle-like. I felt like Wilma Flinstone. When I walked, I sometimes lost my balance a bit even. Also, I had a bit of a headache at times and some pain in my upper back that put pressure up into my head. I figured this was from all the crazy pushing I did and thought it would get better each day that passed.
We both eventually got discharged on Sunday, so we stayed about four days total. Pa and Mimi were waiting for us when we got home and our first night with you went well. You were still on a little formula, but my milk was in with full force now! We had your first appointment with the pediatrician the next morning and encouraged us to cut out the formula altogether and feed you every 2-2.5 hours. I had headaches that day (they were really bad when I felt them, and then they went away during the day a bit that Monday...and came back that night) and still felt like they were coming from my upper spine. It was your Kyndall's 16th birthday the day before (luckily we celebrated big a month or so earlier around Halloween!) and I pushed through the headaches and we took you all to dinner that night to celebrate. Then your Daddy, Mimi and I went to Megan's band concert (crazy how everything seemed to fall on the day we got home from the hospital!) and you stayed home with Pa and Kyndall. I don't think I realized how crappy I felt at the time through all of this.
We went back to the pediatrician the next morning (with a splitting headache) to make sure you were still gaining weight (due to the jaundice in the hospital). You weighed in at 8 lbs 14 oz, which was great - I think you left the hospital at 8 lbs 10 oz. The doc was pleased! You were in the clear. We also talked breastfeeding and realized that I probably produce 3 times as much as you need. So, I had to be careful how long I let you feed. Once we were home, I still had headaches, took my pain meds and that did nothing....so we just tried to enjoy you as much as possible instead.
By the next day, I was ready to go see my doctor about the headaches. Luckily, they had an appointment for me that day, so your Daddy and I went in around 1pm and Pa and Mimi took care of you. My blood pressure was up to 155/90-something. I explained to a midwife what was happening - and she told me it could be one of two things. Either it is a spinal headache from the epidural. The way to "fix" this is either wait it out (it could take weeks) and it would heal itself or go back into OB Triage and have them give me a blood patch. This is where they take some of my own blood and patch it into my spine because there is a slow leak of spinal fluid in there. The blood will stop the leak (somehow). If this is the cause, the headaches were coming from the slow leak, which was messing with the pressure in my brain, causing a kind of "sagging" thing to happen to it and then my head feels like it is going to explode (sounded about right to me!). The other possibility is that it is pre-eclampsia, but postpartum. I know pre-eclampsia from something to watch out for while pregnant, but I had no idea you could develop it after delivery. If this is what it was, I would have protein levels in my urine, some major swelling in my feet (and I did have the swelling still!), and high blood pressure. They would admit me to the hospital if I had this and watch me closely for several days, probably putting me on Magnesium, which I have heard is horrible to be on, but it beats the alternative, which is having a seizure or a stroke. Nice, eh? The cure for pre-eclampsia when prego is having a baby - so postpartum it is to just wait it out and be monitored in the hospital.
Both of these weren't great bits of information, but your Daddy and I headed into OB Triage to figure all of this out. Luckily, I produced a lot of milk (and you were fine feeding from a bottle), so Pa and Mimi could just take care of you with the extra supplies built up.
I couldn't believe we were headed back to OB Triage. Almost a week from delivering you now and I felt crappy and could barely enjoy my baby. Looking back, I really felt like a different person during these days. So, your Daddy and I got back to our old stomping grounds. Where this was a slightly exciting place before (since we hadn't had you yet!) was now nowhere near exciting....you were at home far away from us. We got put in a "room" (three walls and a curtain) and the nurse collected what she needed to first check for the pre-eclampsia. If they rule that out, then it was most likely it was a spinal headache. She took urine and blood sample and found no protein. That's a good thing. I didn't like the though of being admitted back to the hospital again and put on Magnesium. But, I wasn't so sure the headaches were from the epidural. Plus, I was just miserable. And tired. Laying in that triage bed, I was so sleepy waiting for all the tests and nurses to get figured out. Your Daddy was a trooper...always there by my side. Luckily, there was a TV in our "room" for him. =) I went to the bathroom at one point and I just looked grey. My skin, did, that is. I had no color and this just really bothered me....it scared me. I didn't feel like "me" and didn't look like "me" either.
Eventually, some anesthesia people came by and explained the blood patch to me and your Daddy. We explained what had happened during the epidural a week ago to them (having to poke me twice and how I had a "tight" spine that he had to maneuver around). Since the other tests came back saying it was most likely not pre-e (thank goodness), we decided to go ahead with the blood patch.
The anesthesiologists got all their "stuff" and came back to our "room". This blood patch was a bit bigger deal than I realized before. They would be taking blood out of a vein in my hand and then after finding the right "spot" in my spine, inserting this blood in there to make the patch for the spinal fluid leak to stop. Easy enough, right? Yeah, not so much. The only way I can describe it is that they had to dig around in my spine for a while. And this meant pain shooting down my leg ("oops, wrong spot") sometimes. The pain in my back was already way worse than the epidural ever was...and then the leg shooting pain was just the icing on the cake. =) I had to curl up in a ball so that my spine was at the right angle for them to poke at. And I was sometimes just yelling out in pain. I had heard plenty of "these people" when we had been in OB Triage all the other times and in L&D too, and now I was one of these people and I wasn't even having a baby!
These two anesthesiologists now realized what the original epidural guy had problems with. I just have a funky spine. They call it "tight"...which means not a lot of room to maneuver around...which is what they need for both an easy epidural and a blood patch. So, after several attempts with this patch, one of them finally got the blood patch done and over.
I was drained. They originally said that they wanted me flat on my back for six hours after the patch and I would stay in the hospital. Now, they were saying that if I laid down right when I got home, that we could go home. Yay! Thank goodness too....because I hadn't seen you in about six or seven hours and my body was needing to release some food for you, if you know what I am saying. They even brought in a breast pump earlier so that I could pump some milk off, but we just ended up leaving instead so I could just feed you once we were home.
I sat up after the patch....and no headache. It is supposed to work instantly, and so far so good. For some reason I was pretty skeptical and worried that this wasn't going to take care of the headaches. My lower back now REALLY hurt too (from the digging, I assumed), so I had to walk a little hunched over and be careful getting into the car, etc. I was just in a daze...so tired, drained and I think being in pain for so long and thinking it was normal (for some reason) had really taken it out of me....and now this blood patch was trying on my body too.
This whole long story short - the blood patch worked! Over the next several days my lower back hurt, but no headaches. I slept for a good 12 hours that first night back and over the next several days, I felt so much more like myself. And I could be your Mommy finally! Looking back, I was just really scared that nothing was going to fix my pain...and what if I had to go on feeling like I was feeling. Still scary to me to think back to how I felt during that time. But, God is good (ALL THE TIME...even when I am in pain!) and He carried me through it all. He's even SO GOOD that I was feeling like baking and cooking a few days later. And that's how you know when your Mommy is really starting to feel better! =)
In the end, little girly, there was about a week of yuckiness. The whole two days of labor thing was not fun...and the headaches and blood patch bit the big one too. But other than that...I had the best pregnancy with you EVER....and you are an amazing baby. So, when it comes down to it, I look at the big picture and a week of pain out of 9+ months - and getting YOU as my baby for just a week of pain is way more than worth it. It doesn't matter how much pain I was in...or for how long. You will always be worth it.
Okay...enough with the bad stuff, right? On to the good stuff! Here's some pictures of you from the hospital and the week after.
Pa and YOU - a day old!
Kyndall and you - first time you met
Megan and you
Getting some love
Aunt Brenda and Uncle Ray (Jenni and Tyler too)
Sweet baby!!!!
We had to do it =)
Taking your hospital pics
Mimi taking care of you while Mommy was getting the blood patch
Look at that hair!
The picture we used for your birth announcements
Your Daddy took this video while they were taking your pictures in the hospital
At three weeks out - I thought I would capture some noteworthy things and you and us.
You this week:
- Found your hands -you are touching face more and you hold your pacifier in sometimes. At first I thought it was just a coincidence, but I am convinced now that you are trying to do it. You also hold my hand as I am putting it in your mouth so it stays put. It's cute.
- You now coo and "talk" when you are feeding. You make a sweet little sound. Love it.
- Your Daddy holds you and says "You are so beautiful" or "You are so pretty" at least 10 times a day.
- Your eyes are open much more...which means you are getting a little more fussy too.
- You scare Mommy and Daddy and make weird gasping noise sometimes and then it takes you a minute to remember to breathe. I know your lungs are still developing (as well as your nervous system) so this is all normal...but still scary!
- You are still stuffed up a little bit too.
- You have always had the hiccups (even in the womb)...and you still do three weeks later. You also have some gassy/stomach issues we think, which we are trying to make your tummy feel better with a few things...so hopefully next week I can report that you are better!
- When we change your diaper, you like to pee (or poop!) while there is no diaper on you. Makes for a lot of outfit changes!
- Daddy thinks your hair is getting lighter.
- You sleep right through church like a champ!
- Loves looking up when being held at the fans on the ceiling. At least, I think that's what you are looking at!
- Oh...and you smile...at least in your sleep. And your eyes roll all around when you are trying to fall asleep too. Watch the video!
Changes for us:
- Pacifiers, diapers, empty bottles, and burp clothes are littered about the house!
- Mommy's feet are back to normal!!!! And my wedding ring is back on my finger and not on a necklace around my neck! This actually happened about 8 days post-you (right after the blood patch day)...and you have no idea how wonderful it is!
- We now have more than one kind of milk in our refrigerator. Enough said. =)
- And speaking of milk, every 2.5 hours - it's you and me kid!
- My purse is now a diaper bag, and a bit of a purse.
- Laundry happens a lot more around here! For being less than 10 pounds, you sure have a lot of stuff that needs washed!
- I run errands, go on walks, clean, etc. based on our feeding schedule.
I'm sure there are more, but I'll have to keep track along the way since these are all the ones I can think of right now. You didn't let us sleep much last night (with the whole gassy/stomach issues), so I'm going to zonk out. =) You are incredible and my love for you grows every day. It's crazy how I didn't think I could love you any more...and now it doesn't seem like it will ever stop!
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