Your Birth Day(s) - Part II

Hi baby girl.  You are scrunched up laying right by me right now.  Which is why typing Part II is easy for me - I already know the ending!  You just woke up a little and looked at me with those amazing big blue eyes of your, gave me a little smirk, stretched a little and went back to sleep.  Have I mentioned how in love with you I am?  If not - I am - BIG TIME!

So...we left off at 7pm on Day 2 of labor - I'm at 10 cm dilated and we are finally ready to push.  The awesome nurse Linda started the pushing with us a few times before she went off shift.  And, as crazy as it sounds, I liked pushing.  I was feeling the contractions a lot at this point (and no more dosing up the epidural for me means I would more and more), so when I pushed, it not only gave me a purpose to the crazy pain (finally), it just felt better - the pain was mixed with the need to push.  So, this was at least good for now, I guess!

Bailey (remember, she was on the night before - and sadly - we are still in labor and delivery and she is back with us 12 hours later) came on shift and Linda left.  We were really sad to see Linda go.  She had been the best nurse and done so much for us during her shift.  And she was rooting for us so much too.  I still don't know if she saw a picture of you after you were born - I hope so - somehow!  But, nonetheless, Bailey took over and she was a good nurse too.  Your Daddy and Mimi helped me push and Bailey was there to feel where you were.  You were still pretty far up the birth canal.  You started at -3 and in the first hour of pushing, you maybe made it to -2 station.  You weren't sliding down any too fast!  My dreams of being able to say, "I pushed three good pushes and she was born!", quickly faded away that first hour!

After the first hour, I got to take a "break" and Bailey had me sit up and let gravity help push you down with this position.  I think she was trying to trick me with the word "break, because this break ended up not so fun, as I could feel the contractions but couldn't really push.  I felt them in my back and butt big time.  So much so, that I called her back in and said, "Break's over!  I need to push again!".  So we did.  Everyone got back into their positions.  Your poor Daddy and Mimi, they got quite a work out too holding my paralyzed legs for me as I was pushing!

Long story short - rerun the paragraph above about three more times and that's what happened for the next three hours.  And you dropped to maybe a 0 or +1 station (mind you, a +3 station is where you need to be for delivery).  So. four hours of hard core pushing and you still had a ways to go.  Not to mention, your Mommy was majorly in pain and TIRED!  I will be honest, it was a hopeless feeling.  Bailey felt your hair in there (and said you had some long hair she could almost braid!), but you didn't drop much more.  They thought you also were at a weird angle.  Maybe not sunny side up entirely (face up), but kind of cock-eyed and half up, half down in there.  If that was true, this was a lot of why you weren't moving.

So...your Mommy is exhausted, hurting, tired, hopeless and dying every 2 minutes with contractions that don't seem to do anything anymore (the days of liking pushing were waaaay past us now!).  This is where my alter ego kicked in.  I became a different person at this point.  I whined and threw a bit of a fit that this was not working.  The nurse kept being encouraging, saying I was doing everything right....but I told her, what if that doesn't matter!  What if I keep pushing for four more hours and nothing still - at what point do we figure something else out?  I was such a trooper in the first few days and at the beginning of pushing, but I was just DONE.  I had no sleep and no energy left - and - did I mention that I was in major pain?  Yeah, I was done and was hoping that the fit throwing would move things along faster than getting you out of my birth canal vaginally.

And that's what started happening.  All of a sudden the resident doc was in there and said she would have to call my doc (from our perinatology group on call at the hospital - Dr. Lam) and ask about a c-section, but if he said "yes", she gave me all the warnings and considerations that go a long with a surgery.  I said "okay" to them all - and she left to clear it by Dr. Lam.

And then, like magic after that, they were prepping me for surgery. Several more people are now in the room - the anesthesiologist is back, a couple more nurses, Bailey, and the resident.  I was still in lots and lots of pain with the contractions and kind of got a little frantic, to be honest.  As much as I wanted you out and in my arms (and a c-section was obviously the way to make that happen at this point!), I just kind of freaked out with the idea of being cut open.  And, on top of that, I was still REALLY feeling the contractions.  I told your Daddy that I CANNOT FEEL ANOTHER CONTRACTION (remember - they had to still take me out of my room and wheel me down A LONG WAY to surgery).  Poor guy.  He just looked at me, like...uhhhh...not sure what to tell you because you're obviously going to have to feel several more!  So, they started wheeling me to the OR.  And can I tell you how LONG of a trip that is?  Then, I started feeling a pain in my mid-back that was probably nothing much of anything on a normal day, but I couldn't move and make it better that way and I was just soooo out of sorts.  So, I was complaining to the anethesiologist, who was at my head, helping wheel me.  Looking back, I am scared that I was REALLY annoying with the contractions hurting and back thing.  He kept telling me that give them just a few minutes and he would make the pain go away - he promised.  This was NOT good enough for me.  I kept ranting about the back pain and the contractions - and I was still freaking out about the reality of getting cut open too.  Ugh...if I could NEVER relive those moments again - EVER, I would be just fine!

Somehow they got me from my bed to the OR table - especially since I was like dead weight with not being able to use my legs!  Your Daddy was getting suited up with scrubs at that point when they were prepping me in the OR.  They put a blue sheet right next to my face, so I had no view of what was happening.  And it was so close to my face that I could practically lick it!  Oh, and the anesthesiologist was right - he shot something in my epidural site and instantly felt all the pain go away instantly.  Just took away the pain though - not the pressure of what they were doing.  WEIRDEST FEELING EVER.  The tugging and pulling feeling was almost overwhelming sometimes - like it felt like they would rip my skin.  But, at the same time, it didn't hurt.

At this point, your Daddy was all scrubbed up and behind me.  They had me put my arms straight out from my body....and he was holding one of them.  And me?  I was SO TIRED all of sudden!  I was trying not to fall asleep.  I know that sounds horrible, but the combination of the last two days, the pushing and then the new wonderful drugs were really getting to me!  And, my nose was completely plugged, which meant my mouth was SO DRY!  In the end, these aren't big deals at all, I know this...I just wanted to record down for you all the things I remember about your birth.  And the incredible dry mouth and plugged nose definitely makes the list!  It really took my mind off of the tugging and pulling though - I could barely think of anything else but how DRY my mouth was and that I needed ice chips STAT!

I heard one of the docs (I think there were four?  Oh...and it's a teaching hospital, so I could hear the "lesson" they were getting from Dr. Lam the whole time too) said, "Your baby is almost here!".  That woke me up!  And then one of the assistants told your Daddy that he could stand up and watch over the blue blanket if he wanted.  He did (and stomached it all!) and watched you being pulled from my belly!  I just remember him telling me you were here and all I could think was - why aren't you crying?  That was the big thing I was waiting for.  Soon enough, you cried (I guess I didn't realize there is a TON of fluids to get out of your mouth and nose before any sounds can be made!)!  It was a great cry.  And Daddy went over to the scale to weigh you.  I was, of course, stuck, paralyzed on the table....but I remember all the nurses and docs saying how much hair you had and how big you were!  And you were big!  You were nine pounds and four ounces!  And 21.5 inches long!  You officially arrived Thursday, December 2nd at 12:16am.  They brought you around and laid you on me - and wow - did you ever have hair!  Dark hair!  My little girl was here finally, laying and touching my face!  And the last two days that I went through no longer mattered.

I got sewn back up while your Daddy and you (above) went and waited for me in recovery.  The whole sewing up process took a long time too!  And the pulling and tugging I felt before?  Even more interesting when they are putting all of you back together!  Talk about feeling like Humpty Dumpty!  It seemed like it took 45 minutes, but eventually I got wheeled to recovery to see you and Daddy.  I was trying my best the whole two days to keep my blood sugars stable, so that yours would be okay when you came out and your pancreas was finally functioning on it's own.  I was so happy to learn that your blood sugar was 65 mg/dl when you came out.  That is amazing baby girl!  And it stayed right around there for the days after in the hospital too.  Also, your Apgar scores (how well you are functioning/your vitals after you are born at 1 minute and 5 minutes) were 9/9, respectively.  And that's out of 10...which, between you and me, I don't think any baby gets.  =)

Can you believe it?  Here we are in the recovery room after nine months of hard work with a healthy baby girl!  Yes, you were a little stubborn to get out, and a little crooked and big (and I think they ended up saying my pelvis wasn't big enough too), but who cares!  All of that hard work was so worth it as I held you in the recovery room.

And as I was de-numbing in recovery, we even tried our first breastfeeding moment and you latched right on! So awesome baby girl.  Also, as I was de-numbing, your Daddy went out to get your Mimi and let her come back there to see you (only one person with us at a time).  Your Mimi held you for the first time and I think we all finally felt like we could breathe a sigh of relief!  Now, to get your Sisters and Pa back to the hospital the next day so that they could finally meet you!

That's enough for Part II...I'll be back soon with more!

Avery Jo! You Are Here!

Hi baby girl!

I now know exactly how your little fingers and toes look, your cute little faces you make, the great little baby smell that you have and exactly how incredible you are!  You are truly amazing....and amazing how much we all already love you!

I will write out your entire birth story - because it is quite a doozie!  But, in the meantime, I'll give you the basics of your birth.

After about 42 hours of labor - beginning of inducement to contractions starting, water breaking and a finale of pushing hard for four hours - we ended up getting you out by a c-section at 12:16am on Thursday, December 2, 2010.  You were 9 lbs 4 oz and 21.5 inches long!  Big girl!  All the surgery nurses and docs kept saying how big you were - and how much hair you had!  And wow, you had hair!

You Daddy and you were waiting for Mommy in recovery so I could get stitched (well, stapled) back up after you were born.  And, in recovery, you latched on right away and breast fed!  It's been fairly easy, although trying at times too, ever since....but you and I are learning together!

We stayed four days in the hospital with you - one more than planned - because you had a round of jaundice that freaked your Daddy and I out a bit because you started not eating as much and were just always too tired to eat.  But, we came out of that ordeal just fine (so far at least) and you are back to being hungry and alert, but still such a great sleeper.  I don't want to say this too early - but you are a really easy baby.  Even when I know you are hungry and we are trying to hold out a little longer, we just pop in a pacifier and you are fine for until we feed you.  You cry for certain stuff (change your diaper, food, etc.) and that's about it.

Your Pa and Mimi are here and loving you right up!  They have to go home on Saturday and I think you are making it really hard on them to think about going home already!  You are just the best - so easy, super cute and such a little lover.  All your cousins here in AZ have already all held you too.  And your Uncle Ray and Aunt Brenda - several times.  =)  I just can't wait until you meet all the other cousins, aunts, uncles - and of course your Grandma Frances too!  She comes in February to see you!

And your Sisters...oh your Sisters!  How they love you!  They can't get enough of you either.  They squeal and laugh at your faces and noises.  Kyndall is ALL ABOUT YOU and would love to hold your every minute of every hour she is home.  Megan is a little more afraid of breaking you (which I completely respect!)...but once she gets her paws on you, she doesn't want to give you up either!  Both of them are already so proud to be your "Big Sissy".

You already have so many little mannerisms - kooky smiles, faces, noises.  I can't imagine you having any more, but I know you will.  I look at you and at first, couldn't believe that you were the baby in my belly!  And now, I can't imagine anyone else in the world as my little baby cakes!  We love you so much, it's crazy!

There is so so so much more about you that I could go on about.  One of these days, I will write out your entire birth story.  Mainly because I want a record of it.

Your Mommy is doing super (as super as you can be five days post c-section!).  I still am sore and move around very cautiously.  My tummy is so much smaller, but squishy.  Can't wait til that goes down some more!  I'm sure someone would mistake me as pregnant right now, but really, I could care less - because I have you and all of this that I have is what was needed to produce a healthy YOU.

Your Daddy is amazing (I saved the best for last).  He has been the best helper since the start with all of this...and now with you here, he is IN LOVE on top of being the best helper.  I love seeing him with you, it's indescribable.  Sometimes, he will just stand over you and look at you and say, "You are so beautiful." We have been loving this "new life" with you.  Sometimes, one of us out of the blue will say, "We have a baby!".  We are a bit in disbelief, but in such a good way!  We can't imagine life without you and it's only been five days!

Here are a few pictures.  There will be plenty, PLENTY more.  So, for now...we'll just start with these.  =)

We have a healthy baby boy...oops, nevermind, it's a girl!

Okay, baby GIRL!!!!! (Yes, GIRL - we'll talk more about that in a bit!) What a day! We went in for your detailed ultrasound today and had my doctor's appointment first. Met with the same nice doctor that we had a several weeks ago. We really like him a lot. Anyway, my blood sugar numbers looked pretty good to him and he suggested a few changes, which was great. He answered a few questions I had (like would getting an electric shock hurt you, because yes, your Mommy somehow managed to mess with the pool pump's on/off switch with a wet hand the other day and I guess I touched some exposed wires! Anyway, he let me know that you should be fine, especially since it seemed like a small shock and we have heard your heart beating away just fine in there since then!). And, we were just a bit concerned because I had a high-ish blood pressure reading (140/85). I am always soooo nervous before I see you - and they ALWAYS do the ultrasound first, except today - so I was still all riled up because I hadn't seen you yet - and so obviously my blood pressure reflected that. So, we would just wait and take it again after the ultrasound. He let me know that my appointments were going to get closer together - every week to two weeks - which is great, I figured around halfway through things would start ramping up! After talking with the nice doctor, we went and got your sisters out of the waiting room and went in for the ultrasound.

The tech first asked if we wanted to know the gender - we, of course, already knew - but didn't want to "admit" this to her because we went to an outside company so we felt a little silly about it I guess. So, she started in on your scan and we first saw your beautiful spine - so cool to see all your vertabrae! Then, she went down to your boy parts - except - there weren't any and she announced that you were a girl! We were all shocked! We couldn't believe it - we had thought of you for almost a month now as a boy! All I could do was laugh. I had this little gut feeling that I shouldn't lock my mind on you as a boy yet. The girls were all shocked too...all we could do was laugh and talk about how crazy this is...and that they would have a sister now! We did confess to the tech then that we had gone and gotten a gender scan a few weeks ago, and she checked over and over again....still a girl! She admitted that there's always a chance for her to be wrong, but she has done this over and over again and never been wrong (to her knowledge). You were a little shy at first and had your legs crossed, so we got a shot of your girlie-ness, but later, you opened up and really showed it off even better. It's almost like you could hear us questioning whether or not this could be true and you just spread 'em and said, "hey, look...I really am a girl, okay?!". =)

All that crazy stuff aside...you looked great and healthy! That was the biggest deal to me above all. You were sleeping at first, but then started moving all over the place - which is SO COOL to see on the ultrasound screen.  Your heart rate was 148, which is exactly what we measure you at at home with our doppler.  She checked your brain, kidneys, spine, bone lengths, head and belly measurements...and I'm sure a ton more that I don't even know about. By the time she was to look at your heart, you were hiding it under my belly button, so the angle to capture everything was tough for her to get. We did get to see that you had all your four chambers and the aorta valve pumping (I think)...but I guess there were a few other things that normally get measured and checked that she could see properly because of your position, so we will have to wait a few weeks until I get a fetal echo sonogram...that will be a detailed heart look only at 22 weeks. The ultrasound doc came in to review the tech's findings and she reiterated all that the tech found - all looked great...just the heart was a little difficult to see...so they were a-okay with getting the rest in a few weeks. She said that this detailed scan finds at least 50% of all deformities and abnormalities (even alerts to Down's Syndrome and Spina Bifida) and everything on your looked great! Whew! What a relief! Now the only stressor was to figure out how to return all of those boy clothes we had bought over the last few weeks! =)

After the awesome 20-30 minutes looking at you (oh...and your sisters LOVED seeing all your nooks and crannies! They were ooooh-ing and aaaah-ing the whole time!) she gave us some pictures and sent us over to take my blood pressure one more time before leaving. I was still 138/82, which is a little high to them, so they had to tell the doctor the number and have him talk to me before they would let me leave! Felt kind of crazy to be stuck there because of this...but the doc came back in and let me know that he's sure my nerves were playing into this number and I should just go find a BP machine at Walgreens or CVS over the next couple of weeks and check and make sure it's down. Your Daddy and I went a step above that and went and bought a machine so we could take it on vacation with us...and I am happy to report I came in at a healthy 104/65 tonight. Whew! I'm telling you, those ultrasounds do a number on me!

Oh yeah, I also found out that I my placenta is on the front side of my uterus, or "placenta previa". This isn't where you want your placenta at the end of the pregnancy, but the doc said that 90% of the cases resolve themselves and change by the end, so they aren't worried at all at this point. I did ask the tech is the placenta being in front (or between where you are and my tummy) would make it less likely for me to feel you move and she said, definitely yes...but I'd still feel you plenty...just maybe not as early as others. That was kind of nice to know so I don't sit here and worry that I haven't felt you much yet.

Tonight, your Daddy and I returned some of your boy clothes to a consignment store that we like...they took them all back and we picked out some cutsie new girlie ones for you! They are really, really cute! Your Daddy even found a Cowboys onesie for you...it says something like, "I spit up blue" and then has a Cowboys star on it. He loved it...whether you knew it or not...you are a Cowboys fan. =)

We are sooo much smarter than we even realized because we 1) used all neutral greens and yellow colors in your room - no need to change anything there, and 2) had your initals be AJ whether you were a boy or a girl. So, you used to be Aidan Josiah, but now will be our little Avery Jo! And your middle name comes from your Mimi's middle name! Oh, and I looked up your names tonight and what they "mean"...Avery means "elf counsel" and Jo means "he will enlarge". Your Daddy and I are cracking up at those meanings. Too funny - Jo's variant forms mean "God is gracious", so I think we will just stick with that one instead!

Okay, here are several pictures of you....you're our little girlie! And we love you so very much Avery Jo! More than you will ever know probably!

That's your back at the top - and your spine is all white - your head is down on the left

This is your scary alien baby look.  =)  Head is on the left, and a distorted look at your arms, legs and belly.  =)

Okay, so here's the big revealing picture.  It's a shot of your buns and legs, like you are looking up at them when you are sitting on a glass chair.  You're a girl!

Your head is on the right, with one arm/hand coming up to your face, with the other fingers showing up in the background.

That's your arm and fingers - looks like you got them all!  =)

One of my favs from the day - your profile shot - you look so cute there!  I think one of your hands is coming up by your face in the background too!

A 3D shot of you

Look at that little chicken leg!  This is just a shot of one of your legs, bent, with your cute little foot.  Your knee would be to the left and your foot on the right, with your butt cheek right above your heel.

Another 3D Shot...looks like you may be sucking your thumb!

Another girl shot - just in case you were still wondering about it.  =)

Whew!  Baby girl...quite a day we had.  Can't wait to think of you as a girl now!  And buy all those adorable girl outfits - boys clothes really just aren't as cute!  =)  We love you Avery Jo...like Kyndall said today at the scan, wish you were out in our arms already!  We all can't wait!