30 Weeks! Nine Weeks To Go!!!!!

And the countdown has begun!  I sit here and feel you kicking (sometimes pounding) in my stomach and I look at my belly and feel like you are so close to me yet so far away!  Like, you are literally RIGHT HERE (as I look at my belly shake from your twisting), so why can't you be RIGHT HERE (as I look at my empty arms)?  I know why....but still it is very surreal and frustrating all at the same time that you are RIGHT HERE and not RIGHT HERE yet!  Make sense?  Hope so!  I thought I would start this countdown to YOU off right with the NINE reasons I can't wait to have your RIGHT HERE (the "in my arms" one!).



9.  Baby smell - don't have to say more, do I?
8.  I want to see those fat rolls on your legs that I have heard so much about!
7.  I want to see your cute face and if you really have my nose and your Daddy's green eyes!
6.  I want your Sisters to hold you and and fall in love with you!
5.  I can't wait for that binding piece (YOU!) of our family to officially bind those last bits of us together!
4.  I want to dress you up in all the cute clothes we have for you!
3.  I want to see your Daddy hold you and be amazed by you!
2.  I want to somehow fall more in love with you with every gurgle and diaper change
1.  You already have such a special spot with us here that it just doesn't feel right without you anymore!

Okay, listing all of those out isn't good for your Mommy - thinking about all that stuff just makes it tougher not to have you here!  But, I'll wait...and be patient......=)

You are up to a lot in my belly lately.  I think this last week you have been the most active yet.  So active that I don't just feel you move anymore, I see it.  One day last week I was feeling you move and right as I looked down, my tummy was moving side to side, almost like you were playing the bongo drums on the inside of my belly - right, left, right, left, right, left - and my belly moved accordingly.  It was crazy!  When I am resting and on my laptop I usually have my shirt pulled up nowadays so my belly shows because you are banging around in there so much I don't want to miss any appearances through my belly!  I am wondering if I am eventually going to be one of those pregnant mamas that can make out body parts of their baby through their stomach.  I have a hunch that I will be doing this in the end.

Oh...and you are 30 weeks today!  Do you remember my little goal-setting for us about two months ago?  Well, this was the biggie "short goal" because at 30 weeks, you not only have a greater than 95% chance of survival if born early, but you also have a pretty darn good chance of surviving with no motor or physical disabilities now!  That is something to celebrate little girl!  This was a big week for me to get to (in my own mind at least)....and it's crazy....we are here!

Here's a bit more about you too:

The big news is your brain gain. Until now, the surface of your brain was smooth. Now, your brain is taking on those characteristic grooves and indentations. The reason for this change in appearance? Those wrinkles allow for an increased amount of brain tissue  — a necessary change as you prepare for life outside your womb, and the street smarts you will need.

Another big change at 30 weeks: Your bone marrow has taken over production of red blood cells (before, tissue groups and then the spleen took care of producing the blood cells). This is an important step for you, because it means you are better able to thrive on your own once born (with a little TLC from all of us out here, of course).

So it's in with the new (brain cells, red blood cells) and out with the old (lanugo). Much of the lanugo — the soft, downy hair covering your body — is beginning to disappear now because both fat and the brain are regulating your body temperature (so no need for that furry coat anymore).  But we may see a few leftover strands of fur on your back and shoulders when you are born.

You are probably over three pounds now and about 16 inches!  You are at the cusp of "normal" baby size for being born.  Just a few more pounds (or so) and a few more inches to go!

I have a doctor's appointment this Thursday - and I don't get to see you (boo!).  But, after this Thursday, I will go back in two weeks and then see you (I think) every week after that.  I will start the non-stress tests.  They are also called biophysical profiles, which are designed to test your heart rate, movement, my amniotic fluid levels, everything about you in there (and my health) for the last 5-6 weeks to know that you are healthy.  I am thankful for these because as we are nearing the end, I will know each week that you are healthy.  And, if you for some reason aren't, I am so grateful to have the proactive weekly tests to know to get you out as soon as possible so that you can be healthy.  What I am not so much looking forward to - the doctor's bills - but your Daddy and I will figure that one out.  =)  We figure that with as much as it has cost me to be pregnant (ultrasounds, blood work, doctor's visits, eye appointments, higher-level ultrasounds, and now these weekly biophysical profiles) our budget is already prepared for you and the extra costs of a third child!

Your Mommy's feet are still swollen a bit (soooo much better if I get my exercise in though!) and am having a tougher time being comfortable sleeping.  My hips hurt, depending on which side I sleep on, so then I flip and repeat the pattern through out the night.  Hopefully with all the tossing and turning, your Daddy is getting his sleep!  Good news - my blood sugars have been STELLAR this last week.  So much so, that I almost worry that my placenta isn't healthy - since this is what causes my insulin resistance to keep going up.  It feels like I have been on a blood sugar management vacation!  I will talk to the doc's about this, but I'm sure it's just what it feels like when Val and I have finally figured out the right combination for my pump settings.  And, I'm sure I will be back next week complaining how tough it is to control again!

Baby girl, God is so good to us!  He has blessed me with two amazing daughters already and a third on the way.  And the most important part is that I have been blessed with an amazing husband that is going to love you to pieces.  These things have just been on my heart this week - that I am so blessed - I almost feel bad for all that I have because I know that I don't deserve it, yet God's grace is there to supply it still.  There are so many little moments where frustrations try to get me down, or that I feel like all the daily "little" stuff I do doesn't matter and what's my purpose really anyway?  And then God finds a way to speak to my heart and let me know that frustrations are small and petty - I have SOOOO much to be thankful for - and I have learned to truly praise Him for these things and let the stupid stuff fall away.  And all the dailiness of my life?  Hello?!  I'm standing in the midst of God's purpose for me RIGHT NOW and if I don't acknowledge these small things as that, they will be gone before I know it.  I am enjoying the little stuff I do because it gives glory to God - and all I have wanted to do was to listen to Him and do what He wants me to do - so it looks like I am in the right place!  And you, as our little miracle from God, just top that off and make it all just that much sweeter.   

Love you baby girl!