The week after you were born - and 3rd week update

The week after you were born was full of many things!  First and foremost, you got to finally meet your Sisters the next day....and your Pa (pictures below)!  Needless to say, they are so in love with you.  Kyndall can barely give you up and just loves to hold you.  Megan started a little more afraid that she would break you, but now loves to hold you and talk to you.  You instantly had Pa and Mimi wrapped around your tiny little newborn finger too!  That first night, your Uncle Ray and Aunt Brenda were back with your Cousins and finally got to meet you too (they had been to the hospital each night hoping to meet you and nothing!).  Everyone held you and loved on you.

The next couple days are a blur.  We breastfed fairly well and I was recovering as good as the next new mama.  We had a scare with some jaundice with you on the 2nd night after you were born.  Your Mimi first said something about you being a little yellow and then later that night, I mentioned that to a nurse.  They took your blood work and your bilirubin levels were high.  Dang it.  And with having higher levels for this, it made you sleepier and not wanting to eat.  Which is what we needed you to do to pass those bilirubins out of you and get your levels lower.  You had to spend a night under the florescent lights, which was horrible on your Dad and I because you could only be in your diaper and had to wear goggles.  You didn't like it much and it just plain sucked to see you squirming around, hating your new way of life.  I know this is very normal, but it was truly rough to go through.  I cannot even imagine what mommies with babies in the NICU go through.  Ugh.  In the end, we supplemented with a little formula to get you to have more to eat (thank goodness you are not picky and easy going with breastfeeding and formula - didn't bother you a bit!).  That did get you to eat a little more until my milk came in more.  We stayed an extra night to make sure your levels went down....and they did.  And you pooped out the bilirubins like a champ and we never had to worry about that again.

Other than that the hospital stay was pretty good.  My tummy was feeling a little better each day....and I was getting a little stronger too.  My feet, on the other hand, were getting even more swollen!  The docs and nurses said this was normal from all the fluids they pumped into me for delivery (and my body still not realizing that there was no baby to take care of in there anymore!).  They were so round and paddle-like.  I felt like Wilma Flinstone.  When I walked, I sometimes lost my balance a bit even.  Also, I had a bit of a headache at times and some pain in my upper back that put pressure up into my head.  I figured this was from all the crazy pushing I did and thought it would get better each day that passed.

We both eventually got discharged on Sunday, so we stayed about four days total.  Pa and Mimi were waiting for us when we got home and our first night with you went well.  You were still on a little formula, but my milk was in with full force now!  We had your first appointment with the pediatrician the next morning and encouraged us to cut out the formula altogether and feed you every 2-2.5 hours.  I had headaches that day (they were really bad when I felt them, and then they went away during the day a bit that Monday...and came back that night) and still felt like they were coming from my upper spine.  It was your Kyndall's 16th birthday the day before (luckily we celebrated big a month or so earlier around Halloween!) and I pushed through the headaches and we took you all to dinner that night to celebrate.  Then your Daddy, Mimi and I went to Megan's band concert (crazy how everything seemed to fall on the day we got home from the hospital!) and you stayed home with Pa and Kyndall.  I don't think I realized how crappy I felt at the time through all of this.

We went back to the pediatrician the next morning (with a splitting headache) to make sure you were still gaining weight (due to the jaundice in the hospital).  You weighed in at 8 lbs 14 oz, which was great - I think you left the hospital at 8 lbs 10 oz.  The doc was pleased!  You were in the clear.  We also talked breastfeeding and realized that I probably produce 3 times as much as you need.  So, I had to be careful how long I let you feed.  Once we were home, I still had headaches, took my pain meds and that did nothing....so we just tried to enjoy you as much as possible instead.

By the next day, I was ready to go see my doctor about the headaches.  Luckily, they had an appointment for me that day, so your Daddy and I went in around 1pm and Pa and Mimi took care of you.  My blood pressure was up to 155/90-something.  I explained to a midwife what was happening - and she told me it could be one of two things.  Either it is a spinal headache from the epidural.  The way to "fix" this is either wait it out (it could take weeks) and it would heal itself or go back into OB Triage and have them give me a blood patch.  This is where they take some of my own blood and patch it into my spine because there is a slow leak of spinal fluid in there.  The blood will stop the leak (somehow).  If this is the cause, the headaches were coming from the slow leak, which was messing with the pressure in my brain, causing a kind of "sagging" thing to happen to it and then my head feels like it is going to explode (sounded about right to me!).  The other possibility is that it is pre-eclampsia, but postpartum.  I know pre-eclampsia from something to watch out for while pregnant, but I had no idea you could develop it after delivery.  If this is what it was, I would have protein levels in my urine, some major swelling in my feet (and I did have the swelling still!), and high blood pressure.  They would admit me to the hospital if I had this and watch me closely for several days, probably putting me on Magnesium, which I have heard is horrible to be on, but it beats the alternative, which is having a seizure or a stroke.  Nice, eh? The cure for pre-eclampsia when prego is having a baby - so postpartum it is to just wait it out and be monitored in the hospital.

Both of these weren't great bits of information, but your Daddy and I headed into OB Triage to figure all of this out.  Luckily, I produced a lot of milk (and you were fine feeding from a bottle), so Pa and Mimi could just take care of you with the extra supplies built up.

I couldn't believe we were headed back to OB Triage.  Almost a week from delivering you now and I felt crappy and could barely enjoy my baby.  Looking back, I really felt like a different person during these days. So, your Daddy and I got back to our old stomping grounds.  Where this was a slightly exciting place before (since we hadn't had you yet!) was now nowhere near exciting....you were at home far away from us.  We got put in a "room" (three walls and a curtain) and the nurse collected what she needed to first check for the pre-eclampsia.  If they rule that out, then it was most likely it was a spinal headache.  She took urine and blood sample and found no protein.  That's a good thing.  I didn't like the though of being admitted back to the hospital again and put on Magnesium.  But, I wasn't so sure the headaches were from the epidural.  Plus, I was just miserable.  And tired.  Laying in that triage bed, I was so sleepy waiting for all the tests and nurses to get figured out.  Your Daddy was a trooper...always there by my side.  Luckily, there was a TV in our "room" for him.  =)  I went to the bathroom at one point and I just looked grey.  My skin, did, that is.  I had no color and this just really bothered me....it scared me.  I didn't feel like "me" and didn't look like "me" either.

Eventually, some anesthesia people came by and explained the blood patch to me and your Daddy.  We explained what had happened during the epidural a week ago to them (having to poke me twice and how I had a "tight" spine that he had to maneuver around).  Since the other tests came back saying it was most likely not pre-e (thank goodness), we decided to go ahead with the blood patch.

The anesthesiologists got all their "stuff" and came back to our "room".  This blood patch was a bit bigger deal than I realized before.  They would be taking blood out of a vein in my hand and then after finding the right "spot" in my spine, inserting this blood in there to make the patch for the spinal fluid leak to stop.  Easy enough, right?  Yeah, not so much.  The only way I can describe it is that they had to dig around in my spine for a while.  And this meant pain shooting down my leg ("oops, wrong spot") sometimes.  The pain in my back was already way worse than the epidural ever was...and then the leg shooting pain was just the icing on the cake.  =)  I had to curl up in a ball so that my spine was at the right angle for them to poke at.  And I was sometimes just yelling out in pain.  I had heard plenty of "these people" when we had been in OB Triage all the other times and in L&D too, and now I was one of these people and I wasn't even having a baby!

These two anesthesiologists now realized what the original epidural guy had problems with.  I just have a funky spine.  They call it "tight"...which means not a lot of room to maneuver around...which is what they need for both an easy epidural and a blood patch.  So, after several attempts with this patch, one of them finally got the blood patch done and over.

I was drained.  They originally said that they wanted me flat on my back for six hours after the patch and I would stay in the hospital.  Now, they were saying that if I laid down right when I got home, that we could go home.  Yay!  Thank goodness too....because I hadn't seen you in about six or seven hours and my body was needing to release some food for you, if you know what I am saying.  They even brought in a breast pump earlier so that I could pump some milk off, but we just ended up leaving instead so I could just feed you once we were home.

I sat up after the patch....and no headache.  It is supposed to work instantly, and so far so good.  For some reason I was pretty skeptical and worried that this wasn't going to take care of the headaches.  My lower back now REALLY hurt too (from the digging, I assumed), so I had to walk a little hunched over and be careful getting into the car, etc.  I was just in a daze...so tired, drained and I think being in pain for so long and thinking it was normal (for some reason) had really taken it out of me....and now this blood patch was trying on my body too.

This whole long story short - the blood patch worked!  Over the next several days my lower back hurt, but no headaches.  I slept for a good 12 hours that first night back and over the next several days, I felt so much more like myself.  And I could be your Mommy finally!  Looking back, I was just really scared that nothing was going to fix my pain...and what if I had to go on feeling like I was feeling.  Still scary to me to think back to how I felt during that time.  But, God is good (ALL THE TIME...even when I am in pain!) and He carried me through it all.  He's even SO GOOD that I was feeling like baking and cooking a few days later.  And that's how you know when your Mommy is really starting to feel better!  =)

In the end, little girly, there was about a week of yuckiness.  The whole two days of labor thing was not fun...and the headaches and blood patch bit the big one too.  But other than that...I had the best pregnancy with you EVER....and you are an amazing baby.  So, when it comes down to it, I look at the big picture and a week of pain out of 9+ months - and getting YOU as my baby for just a week of pain is way more than worth it.  It doesn't matter how much pain I was in...or for how long.  You will always be worth it.

Okay...enough with the bad stuff, right?  On to the good stuff!  Here's some pictures of you from the hospital and the week after.

Pa and YOU - a day old!

Kyndall and you - first time you met

Megan and you

Getting some love

Aunt Brenda and Uncle Ray (Jenni and Tyler too)

Sweet baby!!!!

We had to do it =)

Taking your hospital pics

Mimi taking care of you while Mommy was getting the blood patch

Look at that hair!

The picture we used for your birth announcements

Your Daddy took this video while they were taking your pictures in the hospital

At three weeks out - I thought I would capture some noteworthy things and you and us.

You this week:

• Found your hands -you are touching face more and you hold your pacifier in sometimes.  At first I thought it was just a coincidence, but I am convinced now that you are trying to do it.  You also hold my hand as I am putting it in your mouth so it stays put.  It's cute.
• You now coo and "talk" when you are feeding.  You make a sweet little sound. Love it. 
• Your Daddy holds you and says "You are so beautiful" or "You are so pretty" at least 10 times a day.
• Your eyes are open much more...which means you are getting a little more fussy too.
• You scare Mommy and Daddy and make weird gasping noise sometimes and then it takes you a minute to remember to breathe.  I know your lungs are still developing (as well as your nervous system) so this is all normal...but still scary!
• You are still stuffed up a little bit too.
• You have always had the hiccups (even in the womb)...and you still do three weeks later.  You also have some gassy/stomach issues we think, which we are trying to make your tummy feel better with a few things...so hopefully next week I can report that you are better!
• When we change your diaper, you like to pee (or poop!) while there is no diaper on you.  Makes for a lot of outfit changes!
• Daddy thinks your hair is getting lighter.
• You sleep right through church like a champ!  
• Loves looking up when being held at the fans on the ceiling.  At least, I think that's what you are looking at!
• Oh...and you smile...at least in your sleep.  And your eyes roll all around when you are trying to fall asleep too.  Watch the video!

Changes for us:

• Pacifiers, diapers, empty bottles, and burp clothes are littered about the house!
• Mommy's feet are back to normal!!!!  And my wedding ring is back on my finger and not on a necklace around my neck!  This actually happened about 8 days post-you (right after the blood patch day)...and you have no idea how wonderful it is!
• We now have more than one kind of milk in our refrigerator.  Enough said.  =)
• And speaking of milk, every 2.5 hours - it's you and me kid!
• My purse is now a diaper bag, and a bit of a purse.
• Laundry happens a lot more around here!  For being less than 10 pounds, you sure have a lot of stuff that needs washed!
• I run errands, go on walks, clean, etc. based on our feeding schedule.

I'm sure there are more, but I'll have to keep track along the way since these are all the ones I can think of right now.  You didn't let us sleep much last night (with the whole gassy/stomach issues), so I'm going to zonk out.  =)  You are incredible and my love for you grows every day.  It's crazy how I didn't think I could love you any more...and now it doesn't seem like it will ever stop!

Your Birth Day(s) - Part II

Hi baby girl.  You are scrunched up laying right by me right now.  Which is why typing Part II is easy for me - I already know the ending!  You just woke up a little and looked at me with those amazing big blue eyes of your, gave me a little smirk, stretched a little and went back to sleep.  Have I mentioned how in love with you I am?  If not - I am - BIG TIME!

So...we left off at 7pm on Day 2 of labor - I'm at 10 cm dilated and we are finally ready to push.  The awesome nurse Linda started the pushing with us a few times before she went off shift.  And, as crazy as it sounds, I liked pushing.  I was feeling the contractions a lot at this point (and no more dosing up the epidural for me means I would more and more), so when I pushed, it not only gave me a purpose to the crazy pain (finally), it just felt better - the pain was mixed with the need to push.  So, this was at least good for now, I guess!

Bailey (remember, she was on the night before - and sadly - we are still in labor and delivery and she is back with us 12 hours later) came on shift and Linda left.  We were really sad to see Linda go.  She had been the best nurse and done so much for us during her shift.  And she was rooting for us so much too.  I still don't know if she saw a picture of you after you were born - I hope so - somehow!  But, nonetheless, Bailey took over and she was a good nurse too.  Your Daddy and Mimi helped me push and Bailey was there to feel where you were.  You were still pretty far up the birth canal.  You started at -3 and in the first hour of pushing, you maybe made it to -2 station.  You weren't sliding down any too fast!  My dreams of being able to say, "I pushed three good pushes and she was born!", quickly faded away that first hour!

After the first hour, I got to take a "break" and Bailey had me sit up and let gravity help push you down with this position.  I think she was trying to trick me with the word "break, because this break ended up not so fun, as I could feel the contractions but couldn't really push.  I felt them in my back and butt big time.  So much so, that I called her back in and said, "Break's over!  I need to push again!".  So we did.  Everyone got back into their positions.  Your poor Daddy and Mimi, they got quite a work out too holding my paralyzed legs for me as I was pushing!

Long story short - rerun the paragraph above about three more times and that's what happened for the next three hours.  And you dropped to maybe a 0 or +1 station (mind you, a +3 station is where you need to be for delivery).  So. four hours of hard core pushing and you still had a ways to go.  Not to mention, your Mommy was majorly in pain and TIRED!  I will be honest, it was a hopeless feeling.  Bailey felt your hair in there (and said you had some long hair she could almost braid!), but you didn't drop much more.  They thought you also were at a weird angle.  Maybe not sunny side up entirely (face up), but kind of cock-eyed and half up, half down in there.  If that was true, this was a lot of why you weren't moving.

So...your Mommy is exhausted, hurting, tired, hopeless and dying every 2 minutes with contractions that don't seem to do anything anymore (the days of liking pushing were waaaay past us now!).  This is where my alter ego kicked in.  I became a different person at this point.  I whined and threw a bit of a fit that this was not working.  The nurse kept being encouraging, saying I was doing everything right....but I told her, what if that doesn't matter!  What if I keep pushing for four more hours and nothing still - at what point do we figure something else out?  I was such a trooper in the first few days and at the beginning of pushing, but I was just DONE.  I had no sleep and no energy left - and - did I mention that I was in major pain?  Yeah, I was done and was hoping that the fit throwing would move things along faster than getting you out of my birth canal vaginally.

And that's what started happening.  All of a sudden the resident doc was in there and said she would have to call my doc (from our perinatology group on call at the hospital - Dr. Lam) and ask about a c-section, but if he said "yes", she gave me all the warnings and considerations that go a long with a surgery.  I said "okay" to them all - and she left to clear it by Dr. Lam.

And then, like magic after that, they were prepping me for surgery. Several more people are now in the room - the anesthesiologist is back, a couple more nurses, Bailey, and the resident.  I was still in lots and lots of pain with the contractions and kind of got a little frantic, to be honest.  As much as I wanted you out and in my arms (and a c-section was obviously the way to make that happen at this point!), I just kind of freaked out with the idea of being cut open.  And, on top of that, I was still REALLY feeling the contractions.  I told your Daddy that I CANNOT FEEL ANOTHER CONTRACTION (remember - they had to still take me out of my room and wheel me down A LONG WAY to surgery).  Poor guy.  He just looked at me, like...uhhhh...not sure what to tell you because you're obviously going to have to feel several more!  So, they started wheeling me to the OR.  And can I tell you how LONG of a trip that is?  Then, I started feeling a pain in my mid-back that was probably nothing much of anything on a normal day, but I couldn't move and make it better that way and I was just soooo out of sorts.  So, I was complaining to the anethesiologist, who was at my head, helping wheel me.  Looking back, I am scared that I was REALLY annoying with the contractions hurting and back thing.  He kept telling me that give them just a few minutes and he would make the pain go away - he promised.  This was NOT good enough for me.  I kept ranting about the back pain and the contractions - and I was still freaking out about the reality of getting cut open too.  Ugh...if I could NEVER relive those moments again - EVER, I would be just fine!

Somehow they got me from my bed to the OR table - especially since I was like dead weight with not being able to use my legs!  Your Daddy was getting suited up with scrubs at that point when they were prepping me in the OR.  They put a blue sheet right next to my face, so I had no view of what was happening.  And it was so close to my face that I could practically lick it!  Oh, and the anesthesiologist was right - he shot something in my epidural site and instantly felt all the pain go away instantly.  Just took away the pain though - not the pressure of what they were doing.  WEIRDEST FEELING EVER.  The tugging and pulling feeling was almost overwhelming sometimes - like it felt like they would rip my skin.  But, at the same time, it didn't hurt.

At this point, your Daddy was all scrubbed up and behind me.  They had me put my arms straight out from my body....and he was holding one of them.  And me?  I was SO TIRED all of sudden!  I was trying not to fall asleep.  I know that sounds horrible, but the combination of the last two days, the pushing and then the new wonderful drugs were really getting to me!  And, my nose was completely plugged, which meant my mouth was SO DRY!  In the end, these aren't big deals at all, I know this...I just wanted to record down for you all the things I remember about your birth.  And the incredible dry mouth and plugged nose definitely makes the list!  It really took my mind off of the tugging and pulling though - I could barely think of anything else but how DRY my mouth was and that I needed ice chips STAT!

I heard one of the docs (I think there were four?  Oh...and it's a teaching hospital, so I could hear the "lesson" they were getting from Dr. Lam the whole time too) said, "Your baby is almost here!".  That woke me up!  And then one of the assistants told your Daddy that he could stand up and watch over the blue blanket if he wanted.  He did (and stomached it all!) and watched you being pulled from my belly!  I just remember him telling me you were here and all I could think was - why aren't you crying?  That was the big thing I was waiting for.  Soon enough, you cried (I guess I didn't realize there is a TON of fluids to get out of your mouth and nose before any sounds can be made!)!  It was a great cry.  And Daddy went over to the scale to weigh you.  I was, of course, stuck, paralyzed on the table....but I remember all the nurses and docs saying how much hair you had and how big you were!  And you were big!  You were nine pounds and four ounces!  And 21.5 inches long!  You officially arrived Thursday, December 2nd at 12:16am.  They brought you around and laid you on me - and wow - did you ever have hair!  Dark hair!  My little girl was here finally, laying and touching my face!  And the last two days that I went through no longer mattered.

I got sewn back up while your Daddy and you (above) went and waited for me in recovery.  The whole sewing up process took a long time too!  And the pulling and tugging I felt before?  Even more interesting when they are putting all of you back together!  Talk about feeling like Humpty Dumpty!  It seemed like it took 45 minutes, but eventually I got wheeled to recovery to see you and Daddy.  I was trying my best the whole two days to keep my blood sugars stable, so that yours would be okay when you came out and your pancreas was finally functioning on it's own.  I was so happy to learn that your blood sugar was 65 mg/dl when you came out.  That is amazing baby girl!  And it stayed right around there for the days after in the hospital too.  Also, your Apgar scores (how well you are functioning/your vitals after you are born at 1 minute and 5 minutes) were 9/9, respectively.  And that's out of 10...which, between you and me, I don't think any baby gets.  =)

Can you believe it?  Here we are in the recovery room after nine months of hard work with a healthy baby girl!  Yes, you were a little stubborn to get out, and a little crooked and big (and I think they ended up saying my pelvis wasn't big enough too), but who cares!  All of that hard work was so worth it as I held you in the recovery room.

And as I was de-numbing in recovery, we even tried our first breastfeeding moment and you latched right on! So awesome baby girl.  Also, as I was de-numbing, your Daddy went out to get your Mimi and let her come back there to see you (only one person with us at a time).  Your Mimi held you for the first time and I think we all finally felt like we could breathe a sigh of relief!  Now, to get your Sisters and Pa back to the hospital the next day so that they could finally meet you!

That's enough for Part II...I'll be back soon with more!

TWO WEEKS Ago Today....

...I was just learning how to take care of you.  You had only been in my arms for just a few hours.  Two weeks seems so short, and yet, I've learned so much already little girl!  Like, when you just start to fall asleep, you twitch and move all over the place - and that's the best time to catch a smile out of you.  Those are the best.  Or, that sometimes, if you seem agitated (not too often though), and nothing seems to be wrong or need changed, you just want to feel my skin next to yours.  You are now tolerating diaper changes much better - not a lot of crying there anymore - I think you have figured out it's a necessary evil.  =)  And if I had to use one word to describe you, it'd be easy-going.  And I hope that continues!  At two weeks, you are extremely tolerant of anything and everything.  Noise, people holding you, being laid down to sleep, me picking junk off your face...and now, even diaper changes.  You are one easy baby so far!  You've already been to church with us...sleeping....and to your Sister's choir concert...sleeping.  You've been out to dinner several times...sleeping.  Like, I said, so far, you are Miss Easy-Going!

Okay, so I think I am going to tell your birth story to you - and I may not finish the whole thing today (it was LONG and you need fed in about 20 minutes!).  I took some notes on the first couple of days when we were getting induced (and then I quit taking notes during the whole process where my mood didn't really want to be thinking anymore!).  So, the first part of this is just the cut and paste from that...and then I'll go from memory from there. Here goes!

Got to the hospital early (7am) and had to wait around a little for the nurses to do a shift change and get into our room.  Was in the room around 8:30 and hooked up to the monitors (your heart rate and contractions).

At 9:30, resident came in and explained the cervadil process and checked me.  Fingertip dilated and -3 station…not very far at all!  She inserted the cervadil and explained it would be a 12 hour process to keep it in.  Did not feel good to have that put in me!  After 12 hours, they will check me again and hope for progress so that pitocin could start at that point (9:30pm).  If no progress, another round of cervadil (hoping for progress and not another round of cervadil!).

Your Uncle Ray and Aunt Brenda got to the hospital late morning.

Very mild contractions through the rest of the morning…nothing noteworthy!  Ate lunch around 1pm.  Mom and Dad came around the same time.

Went on a walk at 2:30 (lots of fun, by the way, when you are wearing a hospital gown) – came back around 3pm or so and right as I laid down again I started feeling more intense contractions.  They were 3-4 minutes apart.  Went up 25-30 points on the monitor and started feeling them in my back.  Which is what the nurse said means that it's more real labor pains.

Girls got here around 3:45pm and started on homework, etc.

We are all ready for you!

Went on another walk around 4:45pm and could feel the contractions through the walk (which was different for me – usually walking “masked” the pain).  Along the way, we saw the couple that had checked in that morning at the same time as us.  She was being wheeled in a wheelchair with HER BABY IN HER ARMS.  So cute, but so jealous.  She told me to “hang in there”.  Yeah, I would need that advice!

Ray, Brenda, Tyler and Jenni were back after the walk, so we had a full room of people at that point (5:15pm).  I sat in a rocking chair and got hooked up to the monitor again.  Contractions were even more intense – going up 60-70 points now. 

Our favorite Nurse Karen came in and said hi (from your Daddy and I's OB Triage visits).  She wasn't our nurse that night, just came in to say hi.  She was “floating” around to wherever she was needed that night.  Good to see her...she's rooting for us!

They informed us that we would be moving rooms  because they were shutting down the pod that we were in.  So, we would be shifting to the C pod instead of the D pod.  This would happen after the cervadil time had ended and once they had checked my cervix again.

That time came and the new resident checked me.  Said I was still a fingertip dilated and 50-70% effaced.  Went to check with the PPA docs as to what to do next and the plan was to do another round of cervadil instead of start pitocin.  I thought I was going to cry, but held it together.

Mom and Dad took Kyndall home for some sleep (due to this news) and were going to come back early the next morning.  Bobby and I moved to a new room – and I took a shower.  Got hooked back up and she did a quick cervix check and said I was dilated to a ‘1’ (no more ‘fingertip’ is good I guess) and inserted the next back of cervadil.  Hurt like hell, baby girl...ain’t gonna lie.

My blood sugars were on the lower side during all of this (60-80 mg/dl).  I was constantly drinking juice to bring them up. 

I also asked for some pain meds or something to help me sleep since I was in terrible pain.  She gave me some Ambien around 11pm.  Was supposed to feel “drunk” and to not fight it, just go to sleep.  That didn’t work so well, was still up with pain.  I treated a pretty bad low blood sugar around midnight and tried to sleep after.  That didn’t work so well, so around 2:30am, I called her back in and she gave me some pain meds in my IV that again were supposed to make me feel really tired and take the edge off of the pain.  I fell asleep maybe for 30-45 minutes and then the pain woke me up and tried to tolerate it for the rest of the morning.  I walked around the room, went to the bathroom, even did my hair, just to keep my mind off of it.

Around 6:30am or so, the nurse (Bailey) came to check me, even though it hadn’t been 12  hours on this round of cervadil.  I was 3 centimeters!  Yay!  Finally something was happening!  She went off the clock at 7am and a new nurse (Linda) came on board.

We called Mom and Dad and told them to go ahead and bring the girls in to the hospital whenever they got up and moving.  Right after that, around 8am, I moved my leg in bed and felt and heard a pop.  I thought this could be my water breaking….and then felt a trickle/flow of water, several times.  We told Linda and I had been contemplating and epidural at this point since I was in a lot of pain.  After heading to the bathroom and seeing more fluid and bloody show, I didn’t have to think any longer about the epidural….so I told Linda to go ahead and get the epi guy.  He had a couple more ladies ahead of me.

He came around 9am and somehow made me feel extremely comfortable with the fact that he would be poking  my spine with a needle and fluid.  As I am crunched over with my spine all spread out for him (Bobby holding my hand and Linda allowing me to use her shoulders to brace myself, with my legs dangling off the bed) and my water just completely gushed out and officially broke everywhere.  The nice nurse Linda is standing in front of me for me to grab on to during the process and it starts pooling on the floor around her feet!  Poor Bobby too…he started watching the flow to the floor happen near his feet too!

Epidural happened and wasn’t that bad at all…just a little prick and burn for a few seconds and before you knew it I had numb legs and belly….and AHHHH!  He had a little difficulty finding the right spot in my spine and said something about trying again and had to go in deeper, so no one else should bolus me more meds, he would need to be contacted first.  At that point, I felt my last contraction (or so I thought)!  Had to get the epi doc back in around Noon to “top me off” because my right belly was starting to feel contractions again, but seconds after he topped me off…I was back to pain free.

Nice nurse Linda took out the second cervadil around Noon and checked my cervix.  Yay!  Dialated to 5cm, 80% effaced and baby was now in -1 position – progress!  The monitors also declared me in “active labor” even though I was completely pain free.

Dr. Lam was the PPA (the perinatology group that took care of you all through my pregnancy) doc on call and he came in and was impressed with my progress and nice nurse Linda is thinking that you, baby girl will be here before 7pm…which is awesome because that’s her quitting time!  And she’s been amazing and I want her to be able to meet you!

After that, it was a matter of checking my cervix every few hours (not too often, since my water had broken and you don't want to mess with it all too much "down there" anymore - infection concerns).  Around 5pm, I started feeling the contractions more again, in my back and butt.  I think they said I was 8cm dilated still the same -1 station and almost completely effaced.  

Closer to 7pm (Linda's quiting time!), I was finally 10 cm dilated and she wanted to start pushing (after having the resident check me and confirm this). I was really in quite a bit of pain during contractions and had to have your Daddy help me breathe through them at this point.  They didn't want to give me more of the epidural medicine since I was so close to delivering.  So...here we go!  

Oh wait...that'll be Part 2 I guess, you need to eat.  I'll be back soon with your birth!

Avery Jo! You Are Here!

Hi baby girl!

I now know exactly how your little fingers and toes look, your cute little faces you make, the great little baby smell that you have and exactly how incredible you are!  You are truly amazing....and amazing how much we all already love you!

I will write out your entire birth story - because it is quite a doozie!  But, in the meantime, I'll give you the basics of your birth.

After about 42 hours of labor - beginning of inducement to contractions starting, water breaking and a finale of pushing hard for four hours - we ended up getting you out by a c-section at 12:16am on Thursday, December 2, 2010.  You were 9 lbs 4 oz and 21.5 inches long!  Big girl!  All the surgery nurses and docs kept saying how big you were - and how much hair you had!  And wow, you had hair!

You Daddy and you were waiting for Mommy in recovery so I could get stitched (well, stapled) back up after you were born.  And, in recovery, you latched on right away and breast fed!  It's been fairly easy, although trying at times too, ever since....but you and I are learning together!

We stayed four days in the hospital with you - one more than planned - because you had a round of jaundice that freaked your Daddy and I out a bit because you started not eating as much and were just always too tired to eat.  But, we came out of that ordeal just fine (so far at least) and you are back to being hungry and alert, but still such a great sleeper.  I don't want to say this too early - but you are a really easy baby.  Even when I know you are hungry and we are trying to hold out a little longer, we just pop in a pacifier and you are fine for until we feed you.  You cry for certain stuff (change your diaper, food, etc.) and that's about it.

Your Pa and Mimi are here and loving you right up!  They have to go home on Saturday and I think you are making it really hard on them to think about going home already!  You are just the best - so easy, super cute and such a little lover.  All your cousins here in AZ have already all held you too.  And your Uncle Ray and Aunt Brenda - several times.  =)  I just can't wait until you meet all the other cousins, aunts, uncles - and of course your Grandma Frances too!  She comes in February to see you!

And your Sisters...oh your Sisters!  How they love you!  They can't get enough of you either.  They squeal and laugh at your faces and noises.  Kyndall is ALL ABOUT YOU and would love to hold your every minute of every hour she is home.  Megan is a little more afraid of breaking you (which I completely respect!)...but once she gets her paws on you, she doesn't want to give you up either!  Both of them are already so proud to be your "Big Sissy".

You already have so many little mannerisms - kooky smiles, faces, noises.  I can't imagine you having any more, but I know you will.  I look at you and at first, couldn't believe that you were the baby in my belly!  And now, I can't imagine anyone else in the world as my little baby cakes!  We love you so much, it's crazy!

There is so so so much more about you that I could go on about.  One of these days, I will write out your entire birth story.  Mainly because I want a record of it.

Your Mommy is doing super (as super as you can be five days post c-section!).  I still am sore and move around very cautiously.  My tummy is so much smaller, but squishy.  Can't wait til that goes down some more!  I'm sure someone would mistake me as pregnant right now, but really, I could care less - because I have you and all of this that I have is what was needed to produce a healthy YOU.

Your Daddy is amazing (I saved the best for last).  He has been the best helper since the start with all of this...and now with you here, he is IN LOVE on top of being the best helper.  I love seeing him with you, it's indescribable.  Sometimes, he will just stand over you and look at you and say, "You are so beautiful." We have been loving this "new life" with you.  Sometimes, one of us out of the blue will say, "We have a baby!".  We are a bit in disbelief, but in such a good way!  We can't imagine life without you and it's only been five days!

Here are a few pictures.  There will be plenty, PLENTY more.  So, for now...we'll just start with these.  =)

Week 38 - ONE WEEK TO GO!!!!!

Oh my goodness my sweet little baby girl....this is probably the last post before we SEE you...HOLD you...MEET you!  I am so stinkin' excited and that's an understatement!


First things first - I went to my last OB appointment today (and had an AFI and NST - you looked great on both of those - fluid was up even to a 12.7 - and the tech thought you were a lot lower in there too!).  The OB told me I was all scheduled for next week - November 30th - at 7:30am!  That's our time!  We check in and get the ball rolling from there.  I am so happy that we have a morning slot too...it'd be waaay too painful to wait until any later!


We have a few things left to get done before you get here - but honestly - it isn't that much.  I feel like I did back in high school or college when I had a major test to prepare for.  And I did all I could for it, and the night before the test I felt like I should be studying more, but I knew everything I thought I should...and that almost made me more nervous because I felt like I forgot something major and didn't prepare right in the end for it!  I feel like that now with you - I have prepared for you intensely all along the way - and all the stuff around the house is in good shape too (I even have several frozen meals ready to go in the freezer!).  So...what's left?  Did I forget something?  I don't think so, and even so, I am still pretty nervous for all of this to happen.  I am sure this is normal....the little tiny amazing thing that I have been waiting for FOREVER (it seems) is finally coming and scheduled to come, at that, and I am nervous?  I truly can't wait and am nervous all at the same time little girlie!


Thanksgiving is this week - and usually I am all about thinking about food and family - but to be honest - I haven't thought much about anything at all but you.  You are overriding everything this week!  Plus, we don't have your Sisters this Thanksgiving, so your Daddy and I are on our own really.  Without much to do on a major holiday, we thought it'd be great if you just came along and we could celebrate in the hospital with you?  What do you think?  =)


This is a week all about "lasts".  Will this be the last time I get to the grocery store before Avery is here?  Will I fill up my car with gas another time before Avery comes?  This will be my last weekend to walk and exercise for a long time before you are here!  It may sound crazy, but I really do think about all of this now!  Your Sisters are dying to meet you too.  Kyndall has made it clear that I need some really good contractions (bigger and badder than the ones I always have) to get things rolling soon or she's going to go crazy.  =)  Megan still loves to feel you rolling in my belly.  I love how excited they are.  They already love you so much too!


Speaking of your Sisters, we put up the Christmas tree tonight!  Another "last"...the last time we will put a tree up for Christmas without you with us!  Here are some pictures....

 The start of the tree - we got this tree from Pa and Mimi and it's HUGE - 8 foot!

 Whew!  All the branches are on!

 The girls decorating

And your Daddy finishing it off with the star!

Putting up the Nativity set too

Our new Christmas stockings - handmade by Renie - an old family friend.  They are so cool!

Here's the final product - how good does it look in our living room?!  There's even a couple wrapped gifts under the tree already - from your Daddy to me!

The other half of the family room/dining room with the stockings and Nativity set - we are not only ready for you, but ready for Christmas too!

Drum roll please!  Here it is Avery Jo...The FINAL piece to our countdown! In honor of ONE week until we see you, here is the #1 best thing about you!  (And your Daddy and I both came up with this one together!)

You are the unifying piece to our family.  You will be the ONLY person in our family that "shares blood" with each of the other members.  No one else can say that.  You have a little of each of us in you - how cool is that?  Me...I just share you.  Your Daddy shares you and your Sisters.  Your Sisters share each other and you and your Daddy.  But you, my darling, you have a little of us all in you!  We love that thought.  You are the piece that molds us officially into ONE.  You combine us ALL together!  And for that reason, we cannot wait to meet you and love on you!  We can't wait to see what you look like - WHO you look like!  We can't wait to know your little mannerisms and if that was more like me, your Daddy, Kyndall, Megan....I'm sure we will all be fighting over who you most resemble in cuteness!  Whomever that is, the bottom line is is that you will have a little of all of us represented in your personality, skin, face, hair/eye color, genetics and temperament!  


If I could choose - I would give you your Daddy's passion and love for people and things you believe in.  There is no one else on this earth that has more love and fire in his heart than your Daddy. And his ability to learn and grow, especially in God.  I truly hope you get that from him.  And also, his amazing green eyes of course!  I would give you your Sister, Kyndall's ability to reason things out.  I would love for you to have her maturity of the heart and always be able to have that great perspective on life, especially in tough situations.  From Megan, I would give you her gentle, joyful nature.  I would love for you to always be a kid at heart, just like your big sister.  And then, at the same time, grow up to be an amazingly, mature woman...but always have a little naivety about you.   From both girls, I pray for your heart to be God's, just like theirs is.  Your Sisters amaze me with their love for the Lord and how they are so ready and willing to stand up for what they believe in at their age (they get that from their/your Daddy!).  And if you could have their Hispanic skin, that'd be amazing too!  From me...I'd give you my balance.  Your Mimi always told me growing up that this was one of my best qualities and I have realized what that means as I get older.  Just to be the balance in any situation and think logically...whether it's easy, tense, tough, etc. situations...to be able to see things from all points of views.  And if you could have my "good sleeper" trait as well....I'd love that!  =)


You see baby girl, you are The Marin melting pot!  You get to be a part of each of us.  A role that no one else in this family has.  And that's a big job, but I have a feeling you will be more than great in this role.  And one more thing, if you could NOT have the "stubborn" trait that seems to run rampant in this family and we all possess...that would be best for all of us!  =) 


We are ready sweet girl...I know that God has this all under His wings.  I am nervous, but letting God have all of that instead.  I am going to enjoy this last week with you in my belly and all the kicking and turning.   I have seriously LOVED being pregnant with you.  God was so good to me and gave me a great pregnancy with you - even though I had to deal with all the diabetes stuff - He really have me a great nine months with you.  He knows what He is doing!  He loves you already, baby girl....and I know without a doubt that His love is already tucked away in that heart of yours.  I can't wait to see what God created in you!

You Are Scheduled To Arrive!

Hey baby!  I wanted to update you on yesterday's doc appointment.  First of all, we had a growth scan and saw your chubby cheeks up there on the screen.  Good news is that your belly isn't measuring too much bigger than your head!  You weighed in at 7 lbs and 14 oz!  You are definitely on track to be the 9 lb baby that your Mommy and Daddy were!  The tech told us (again) that you had chubby cheeks.  Old news to us by now.  =)  Your amniotic fluid level was back up to 11.5, which is a great spot for you to be in!  Here's a couple of pics.  You don't "photograph" as well as you used to since all the space is being used up in there now...but hopefully you can make these out pretty well.

This one has your forehead on the right side - but you umbilical cord is right in front of your forehead actually. So you can't really see your eyes or forehead, but move to the left a little and there is your cute nose, mouth (which is open a little), and yes - your chubby cheeks! 

Profile shot - your lips are all puckered up because your face is all smooshed and out of room in there!

Your Daddy and I were hoping we would get your inducement or c-section scheduled while we were in the office yesterday...and we were so happy that is exactly what happened.  First though, after the growth scan, had your non-stress test, which you passed with flying colors - you were a mover and a shaker yesterday!  Then, we had the OB appointment.  We met with the nurse practitioner again (which I like, because, well, I like her and she spends a lot of time with us).  She looked over your growth and said that you looked great - not even that big!  I mean, you are on the bigger side obviously. But, in terms of diabetic mama's, you are on the more normal side for what they see.  And, your belly hadn't grown bigger than your head - it was a little bigger - but not significant enough for them to schedule a c-section instead of being induced.  Good news baby girl!  We are scheduled to start the inducement on Nov. 30th!  Although, some parts of me want to just have a c-section and know that you would be in my arms for sure on Nov. 30th - no long labor, etc.  But, My body will love me later if we can avoid it as well.

Depending on how my cervix was (dilated, softened, short vs. long) looking (or feeling, I guess) the inducement would happen in one of two ways.  If it looked dilated and soft (in other words, ready to give birth), they would just schedule me with pitocin to induce the labor.  If not, then it would start with a cervix-softening gel (cervadil) and then that would take some hours to "work" and then pitocin would be started.  The nurse practitioner checked my cervix and I am definitely in the later category.  Even with all the contractions I have been having and continue to have...it doesn't look like it's doing much to my cervix.  So, she is arranging with the hospital an exact time on the 30th to go the cervadil route.  We will know the exact time we are scheduled this Monday (I have another OB appointment and NST then).  I'm crossing my fingers for an early start!  

I also mentioned again my blood sugars dropping a bit still (concern with the health of the placenta).  She said to keep watching and report back at the appointment on Monday.  So, I guess there is a slight chance (depending on how drastic things get with the blood sugars over the weekend) that you could be here sooner, but at this point, you will be born my 39th week.

One more picture - one of my Mom's (your Mimi's) old friends, Renie, was super duper sweet to us and made us all Christmas stockings.  We just got them in the mail today and I had to share.  I am so excited to have hand made stockings for Christmas now!  I just think they are so cool.

That's about it, baby girl.  You are moving around as usual in there like crazy.  Keep it up!  I can't wait to meet you and have your skin finally touch mine!  Oh, and see in person those chubby cheeks!

FULL TERM!!!!!!!!! 37 Weeks and TWO To GO!

BABY GIRL!!!!!  This week is BIIIIIIG.  HUUUUGE.  You are full term now!  Something I didn't know before I got pregnant was that a baby's due date is 40 weeks (yes, I think we all knew that)...but being "full term" can be anywhere from 37 - 42 weeks.  So...it's not an exact time to be "term", it's a five-week range.  And thank goodness I get the luxury of NOT testing the back end of that five-week range - you go to 39-ish at the most and no waiting around for us!

I don't have too much to post right now (although, watch how long this post ends up being - I bet it'll be longer than I think it'll be right now - I have a tendency to be a little wordy!).  I will be sharing a BUNCH of information after our Thursday's doctor's appointment.  From my understanding, you will get all figured out that day.  So, we will first have another (final?) growth scan and see how big little Miss Linebacker has become in the last four weeks.  After they know this, I meet with my OB and we set up a PLAN.  That's right....we get to have a plan on Thursday as to how all of this goes down!  Your somehow-now-a-Type-A-personality-but-used-to-be-Type-B Mama has been waiting for this so it makes her very happy!  I don't know QUITE what to expect with this visit, but from my understanding, a lot of the when's and how's will be set in stone on Thursday...but I am fully bracing myself if all isn't figured out that day too.  All that to say - I will have some good information to share after that happens on Thursday morning.

What has happened this week?  For us, your Sisters, Daddy and I had our last weekend as a family of four.  And for some reason the realization of that was a little sad to me.  I know it's just the whole thought of it all changing and saying goodbye to the old and hello to the new - which all of us are COMPLETELY looking forward to.  It's just the "end of an era" kind of thing.  We just had an awesome weekend, though.  It was one of those where nothing spectacular was planned, no big deals happened, we just really enjoyed each other and had such a good weekend together.  Your Sister, Kyndall had a cross country banquet that we all went to...and she won an award!  It was called the LionHeart Award.  She got this because even though she was only able to run a couple of the first races before she was sidelined with her stress fracture, she was still a part of the heart of the team - going to practices, doing what she could, and just being a part and adding to the family feel of the team.  I think the coach said that typically, runners that are hurt easily just slip away, but Kyndall stayed an integral part of the "family" even with being hurt.  Needless to say, we were soooo proud of her!  What a cool surprise to get in front of the entire team and their families!

 Kyndall with her CC friends at the banquet

All the kids and families at the banquet

Then, on Sunday, we decorated for Christmas already - yes, I know, it's not even Thanksgiving yet!  But, you are coming just around the corner, silly, so we had to get a head start.  Especially with your Sister, Megan loving holidays and decorating like she does.  She was in Christmas Heaven!  We don't have the tree up yet (next week?) and no outside lights either (Daddy and Megan can do that even when you are with us)...but I have to say - the inside of our house is beginning to look a lot like Christmas!  Your Daddy and I even have 95% of the Christmas shopping done!  We are good, aren't we?  He's such a good Daddy - he really helped me get everything this year - which is much appreciated when you are verging on being nine months prego!  We just need to wrap stuff...maybe this weekend?

Your Dad and Sister, Megan getting into the Christmas spirit at the movie theater!

Alright...here's your update this week...probably a little boring!

Like I said above - huge news this week: I am carrying a full-term baby - YOU! If I were to go into labor today, all systems would be a go. Woohoo! But, even though I can't wait for my little bambino to quite literally rear your head, I still keep in mind that you benefit from every day in the oven.

Your growth slows down dramatically this week, which is great news for my birth canal. Your bones are still soft and pliable and will solidify after you are born. More great news for my birth canal!

So if you are all cooked and ready to go, what the heck are you still doing in there?! You are busy practicing for "life on the outside," working on your breathing (you still get the hiccups 2-4 times a day!), sucking, sleeping, gazing and peeing abilities. The only thing you can't practice yet is your ability to scream at the top of your lungs when you're hungry—but you'll do plenty of that in a few weeks.

At this point babies vary in size, but the average length is around 20 inches and most babies weigh approximately 6.5 or so pounds.


You are still moving like a champ in there.  This past weekend you were REALLY active - like - it-kind-of-hurt active!  And then the next couple of days you will chill out a bit and still move, but not karate chop movements or throwing yourself against my uterine wall kind of movements.  And then, after a couple days of rest, you'll be back at playing ping pong with your body in my womb again!


Your Mommy has swollen feet, of course.  That's old news by now...and yes, they are still here.  My belly button is more officially "popped" now.  It definitely shows through the shirts.  Everyone says it's cute, but I'm not so sure.  =)  And I still have contractions pretty regularly.  Sometimes as much as six per hour.  They are definitely getting stronger too.  It's crazy how the belly just tightens right up into a ball!  One additional thing that just hit in the last day or two is some indigestion/acid reflux.  It hurts!  So strange that I haven't felt this at all up until now, but again...for a Mama that hasn't had many symptoms of being prego at all (except for the massive belly!), I can't complain!  The end is in sight, so I can deal with this!


And  speaking of massive belly - here's some belly pics at week 37.  I put week 33 next to it to compare.  I don't think I look all that much bigger - and you have moved down a bit too.

 Week 33 - high and out there!

Week 37 - a little lower and still out there!

Oh...we meet with two pediatricians this week.  I'll let you know how that goes too later.  Both are open house events where we will just go and talk with them and see how we like them.  That will be one of the final pieces to be nailed down before you get here!


See - I told you this would still be long!  Oh well...that's your Mommy!  Okay, to wrap this all up - here's the countdown for the week.  In honor of TWO weeks left, here are the top TWO things that I never knew about pregnancy until I actually went through it myself!

2.  I never knew that contractions feel like menstrual cramps.  I know they will get worse and worse...so it won't be as "easy" as normal period cramps were before...but that general feeling is the same at least to start with.  I think I expected contractions to be sharper pains - and definitely didn't expect my whole belly to tighten up into a ball!


1. That you would move SO MUCH and I would feel it all!  I had absolutely no idea it would be so feel-able!  Or even view-able!  I know that maybe you are more of a mover and a shaker than some, so that might be some of it...but still...I will never forget the feel of you waking up in the morning and stretching out in my tummy.  Or, when you push back with your butt up in the air.  Or, when you are a crazy baby and bouncing off the walls!  I love them all - and will miss them even when you are in my arms!


Alright baby girl...your Mama is out!  We can't wait to know more on Thursday - we'll keep you in the loop.  Love you!