New Pump and CGM!!!!

Still figuring it all out...and there's lots to figure out with the CGM...but it's too cute not to share with you!

You Look Like A Baby!!!!

My baby...we were so excited to see you today...and you look like a baby - not just a blob anymore!  We even saw your brain on the ultrasound - crazy!  Mommy was nervous going into the appointment - not sure why I get that way - probably because I don't have huge symptoms of being prego with you, and then the small things I do have seem to fluctuate - and that makes me worry that you are going away.  Anyway...I was nervous to see you again, and then vwa-lah!  There you were!  Your heartbeat is a strong 158!  Everyone is trying to correlate your heart rate and whether you are a boy or a girl (your Pa thinks that your heart rate is saying "girl" now, your Aunt Rhonda thinks your a boy, Cousin Vera said "baby girl" when Mimi showed her your picture and Aunt Sandy said "she", so I take it that she's betting on girl)...well, your Daddy did a little research and there is no relation, especially this early.  Maybe a little correlation right before you are born...but that's it.  You measured at 3/4 of an inch.  They measured me at 8 weeks 3 days, instead of 8 weeks 2 days...doesn't seem like a huge deal probably, but I'm thinking, "oh great, I'm producing a big baby already and it's only been two months!"  But, I asked and the "age" will fluctuate early on like this.  They only change your due date if you are eight days different.  So, just keep growing away in there!

I met with the CDE again after the ultrasound (she's a midwife/nurse practicioner too) and she talked through some things with me.  Can I color my hair?  Yes (Whew!  I'm looking rough!).  Can I use nail polish remover/nail polish?  Yes (Another whew!  I scraped all my scrappy nail polish off the other night with my fingers because I wasn't for sure yet!).  Oh - and I told her the good news too - I get my new pump/CGM tomorrow morning!  Yep, just that quick!  It all got approved yesterday and they shipped it on out the door!  So excited to set it all up when it comes....and guess what?  I chose a different color this time (I have clear now)...they have a new color - pink!  That's what mine will be!  I'll take a few pictures of it for you when I get it tomorrow.  Deal?  Deal.  Other than that, she looked at my blood sugar numbers and thought they looked a little bit better and couldn't stress enough that she'd like to see my numbers (especially the low ones) up a bit.  I'm trying, really am...everything is seems so unpredictable sometimes and she reassured me that this is normal for the 1st trimester - it's going to even out several weeks from now.  She gave me a normal physical exam too - which left your Daddy extremely happy that he is a boy!  She also confirmed that my 24-hour urine test was wonderfully normal - not even a trace of protein in my urine - which she said is soooo good!  And my EKG that I had on Monday is perfectly normal too!  So, I think she said that so far my pregnancy is perfect.  Yep - perfect!  =)  I am scheduled to come back in two weeks to go over my numbers again (of course) and then get another ultrasound to check your heart beat again.  Love it!  Can't wait to see what you look like at 10 weeks!  You have changed so much since just last week!  Oh, she also talked through some of the tests that we can elect to have to check from Down's Syndrome and other chromosomal  issues.  Daddy and I aren't sure yet whether we want to check for these things - because you're are a keeper, no matter what they come back with...so what's the point, especially when some of the tests have false positives and others that are more accurate have a small risk of miscarriage?  I don't know...something to think and pray about.

Here's your picture from today - she gave us three, but I enlarged the one that was the best.  You can't see the brain spot as well on the pics as well as on the screen, but it was there as clear as day!

And there you are!  Just curled up and growing!  Thanks for today, my little one...I needed it!

You are 8 weeks today, my little raspberry (yep - you've been promoted!)!

Hey my baby!  You are officially eight weeks old today!  I'd love to say time is just flying by, but honestly...it's not!  I just want to meet you so bad that it makes time tick tock by!  I've got some good news to share for me and you, but first...here's a little bit about you, now that you are eight weeks.

New this week: Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from your hands and feet, your eyelids practically cover your eyes now, breathing tubes extend from your throat to the branches of your developing lungs, and your "tail" is just about gone (whew!). In your brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. Everyone around me may be telling me that they think you are a boy or a girl, but the external genitals still haven't developed enough to reveal whether you're a boy or a girl yet. Either way, you, my little baby — about the size of a large raspberry — are constantly moving and shifting, though I still can't feel it (darn it!).

So, my little raspberry...you have been promoted up the fruit ladder from blueberry to raspberry!  =)  And I can't wait until Thursday morning, because your Daddy and I get to see you again!  Can't wait to post those pictures on here!

Now for the good news!  I think I have told you about getting a new insulin pump that has the continuous blood glucose monitor (CGM) built into it.  This will allow me to be even more on top of taking care of you with knowing where my blood sugars are every 5-15 minutes (and so I don't go super low like I did tonight - 35 - yikes!  Sorry Mom, you probably didn't want to know that!)  We were just unsure about insurance coverage.  Well, the nice people from Medtronic (who really have done an amazing job with all of this) called tonight and said that we are covered like we were hoping, at 80% for both the pump (we already knew we were covered here) and the CGM piece built into the pump (which has a separate transmitter piece and sensors that I will have to arrange on my body somewhere around where my pump site goes in - my skin real estate is getting pricey!).  Anyway...all that to say...good news!  We will be able to have the CGM piece of all of this, which is AMAZING!!!!  It will be a bit of a learning curve for me, as I've only dealt with the pump before...but I'm a quick learner, so I'm not scared!  The huge benefits of the CGM will be that I will be able to catch a rising or lowering blood sugar on the way up or down.  With being able to see this trend and the inevitable coming and especially since I will know I still have insulin working in me (which will still be sending my sugar level lower) and my blood sugar is, say, 70, I can catch it before it becomes a 35 - like tonight - where I start freaking out a little on top of the already sweaty and jittery feelings I get from being low.  And, from what I understand, the CGM now has the capability to talk to my pump (first of it's kind I think), so if I am too high - like a 200 number - it will alert me that it wants to give me a bolus (fancy word for an "amount") of insulin to bring me back into range (considering all the insulin I would still have working in me from previous boluses, of course).  Then, I okay it and WA-LAH!  It does it.  Not quite a closed-loop system...but I'd say it's closer than ever before....and I am sure excited that you and I get to take part in this cool new stuff!  We'll just call it a poor-man's pancreas (better than the worthless piece of junk I have!)...and that's only because all this technology is defnitely not easy on the wallet!  =)

And wow, how could I forget the other piece of GREAT news tonight?  Well...there is a test called a 24-hour urine test (and yes, it's EXACTLY as it sounds - collect all your urine in a 24-hour period - not a pretty picture at all, right?)...and to officially take this test, I had to drag my "jug-o-urine" into the lab/doc's office yesterday morning - what a fun event.  Not only did I have a gallon jug of my pee in the front seat of my car (and as I was driving my jug-o-pee to the office, I was literally wondering how many other drivers on the road with me had their pee sitting in the passenger seat with them?) but then I also got to carry it in a grocery store bag into the lab/waiting room area (yes, you people in the waiting room now staring at me, I am carrying almost a gallon of my pee in my hands right now - now get back to your magazine).  Anyway, all these minor annoyances and one blood test later - I get a call with the test results (which measures kidney function - which is something I am always fearful of losing, being diabetic for 23 years) - and I have great, normal-functioning kidneys!  Woohoo!

Tomorrow is an easier day for us (the past two days have been BUSY!!!!)...so I'm going to concentrate on taking it easy for you and just get in some rest time.  Sound good?  Good! 

Figuring YOU out!

Hey there my little one!  I just found some interesting pics and thought I'd share.  So, this week you are developing rapidly.  I am at 7 weeks 3 days today, which is 52 days.  The first pic is what your hand would look like at 6 weeks 6 days (or 48 days).  The second pic is just three days later at 7 weeks 2 days (or 51 days).  That means you are one day passed the second picture right now !  You are growing so fast!  It's crazy to see how much you've grown in just the past few days!

They say you are growing like a weed and you will double in size again this week.  I can feel this happening, believe it or not.  I am a lot more tired this week (I took a little nap yesterday afternoon and I never nap), I (maybe?) feel a little sick sometimes, and my blood sugar readings are easily super low this week too...which is great because that is good for you and your development, but it is a little nerve-wrecking being so low all the time (and I am definitely accomplishing the goal my CDE gave me either!).  Oh well, would rather be on the low side...and I'm sure it will never be perfect...so your mommy will just deal!  =)

I have a busy weekend this weekend, so hopefully we can both keep up with it!

Surprise!!!!!

Well, good thing you came with me today to my CDE appointment because I had a quick sonogram that I didn't know they'd do! I kid, I kid.  And they could see you this time with just an external ultrasound, which means you are getting bigger my little blueberry! And you are bigger...and a great heartbeat again at 138! Love it that I got to see you today...made my day completely! Here you are at 7 weeks 1 day!

Okay, so not much to see (the screen in the office actually had a lot more detail than comes out on the picture - I could see the fetal pole/umbilical cord attaching you to my uterus, but you can't see it here).  Still...can definitely tell that you are growing!

So, I met with my Certified Diabetes Educator (CDE) for the first time today.  A little nervous that she wouldn't be up to par...but she was!  I really liked her a lot!  She's going to help me take good care of you!  And there will be another one too that I will be meeting with at times and the other one (Val, I think) is better at insulin pumping stuff so I may be seeing her a lot.  I am hoping to get a new insulin pump (my warranty is up in a couple days).  Typically, at the end of the warranty period, you get a new one...and it's kind of exciting since there's always new technology.  And this time is no different.  Now, with a pump, they have combined a continuous glucose monitoring (CGM) system (which is like taking your blood sugar on a meter every 15 minutes or so - and alerts you when your numbers are out of range - low or high - but it's always connected to your skin doing these readings).  So, as far as I understand, the pump now works with the CGM, so when you have a high reading on the CGM it will "talk" to the pump and based on a gazillion different algorithims (and other details that I cannot begin to understand how the smart pump people make it all work) it will deliver an amount of insulin to bring the high number back into range.   Whew!  Did you get all that?  All that to say, this is the newest pump out there and the CGM is something I was very much interested in, since I knew I was prego with you because it just allows so much more information, which equals better control, which means a healthy you!  So, now that this is my option, it's just a matter of insurance approving...this will all take a week or two, but keep your fingers (or nubs at this point I guess!) crossed...this would be an amazing thing to have while you are in my belly.  The CDE today is very much for CGM's for diabetic prego ladies...so it should sail right through their office when the pump company calls to ask for a prescription.  Good news there! 

She told me a lot of things today.  Gave her my blood sugars for the past couple weeks and thought we could tighten them a bit.  And she's not as much worried about high's...she wants to work on my lows.  Which was different than what you normally hear in the Diabetes/Pregnancy World...but refreshing and understandable at the same time.  It calmed my fears about having a high number here or there...her goal is consistency - so if we could raise the average number just a bit, but keep it more consistent, that would be their goal for me.  This means spreading my carbs out through my day a bit more evenly - six meals with 30-45g of carbs at each meal.  Completely do-able and willing to try.  I was a little nervous about my blood sugar numbers and a few of the highs and she said, "You know, I'd love to have your numbers a little more consistent, so there are improvements that can be made - and there always is for everyone - BUT, if each patient was like you, I wouldn't have a job!"  Hello!  That made my day!

So, I just need to work on spreading carbs out and trying to have my lows be at the lowest 70 and not more than 110 before a meal...and even keeping it more towards 100.  After I work on that, we'll go from there!  And if I get the new pump with the CGM, that will be so much easier of a task too!

Next up, doctor's appointment next week on Thursday - I think it's with the same nice doctor from last week.  And, another ultrasound...I guess I get those everytime I step into the office, regardless of what kind of visit it is!  Works for me...I'll get to see you every 1-2 weeks...how cool is that?

Week 7 Little One, Week 7!!!!

So, little one, we are almost to two months!  Yay!  And you have been treating me the absolute best so far (keep it up!)...I don't feel sick at all.  I maybe feel a little hungrier and tired, but that's it!  I think God knows that I have a lot on my hands with managing these blood sugars, so He's being extra nice to me with all the other stuff.  =)  I'd like to think so anyway! 

So, I thought I'd share a little about you at Week 7:

The big news this week: your hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point than the tiny, pudgy extremities I've been daydreaming about holding and tickling. Technically, you are still considered an embryo and you even have something of a small tail, which is an extension of your tailbone. Luckily, this tail of yours will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller. You have doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry!


If I could see inside my womb, I'd spot eyelid folds partially covering your peepers, which already have some color, as well as the tip of your nose and tiny veins beneath parchment-thin skin. Both hemispheres of your brain are growing, and your liver is churning out red blood cells until your bone marrow forms and takes over this role. You also have an appendix and a pancreas, which will eventually produce the hormone insulin to aid in digestion (So...ironically, you will have insulin being made and your mommy won't!). A loop in your growing intestines is bulging into your umbilical cord, which now has distinct blood vessels to carry oxygen and nutrients to and from your tiny body.

First of all, you have a tail?!  Nobody ever told me this one before!  Luckily, it's shrinking as I speak!  But, we'd love you even if it stayed! And WOW!  Can you believe it...already you have eye color at the size of a blueberry!  How does anyone get rid of a pregnancy knowing all of this?  Oh, and speaking of eye color, your Daddy and I found a website to do a genetic analysis for your eye color, using our eye colors and our parents' and siblings' eye colors.  I have blue eyes and your Daddy has green, so if this science is perfect, you have a 30% chance of having blue eyes and a 70% chance of having green!  We're hoping for green like your Daddy's...looks like the odds are in our favor too!

I go to see the Certified Diabetes Nurse Educator (CDE) tomorrow at my Ob-gyn's office (and you're coming with me!).  Kind of looking forward to it - hopefully she knows her stuff like I was used to my old CDE in Peoria knowing her stuff.  She'll take a look over my blood sugars and food intake and tweak any of my basals, insulin-carb ratios or sensitivity factor that I have.  Which is good...I get worried sometimes that I am taking care of you - such precious cargo, like never before - and I'll get a reading in the 200's out of the blue, even doing everything "right" technically.  What is that doing to you?  Especially until after Week 10, since that's when all of your organs are forming.  I tend to worry about this a lot, and I am usually not much of a worrier at all - much more of a go-with-the-flow-er...so this is new territory for me.  I know God's got you...felt that from the beginning...so He's covering me with grace when I need it.  And thank goodness for that!  But, it will be nice to talk to the CDE tomorrow and give her my concerns and see what she says.  The nice doctor last week at our first appointment basically said I was an over-achiever so far with my blood sugar levels (that felt good!)...so that's making me feel better, because the numbers he saw weren't all perfect.  I'm doing my best...that's all I know...but just the same as why it's frustrating when I try so hard and then a weird number comes from nowhere.  I just don't want to hurt you....and I have so much power over that, it's scary sometimes.  I know, I know, God's got you.  I'll just think of you as His little blueberry that He's holding safely in His hands.  =)

No ultrasound this week...so I won't get to see you again until next week.  Kind of sad!  I have no idea how all of this non-high risk prego mommies do it with only a couple ultrasounds/sonograms during their pregnancy!  I get to see you for the second time next week and you will only be eight weeks along!  That's my silver lining to having diabetes and putting so much effort (worry!) into you...at least I get to see you all the time.  =)

We have heard your heartbeat!

We had our second ultrasound (technically, although we didn't get to see you on the first) and were so nervous to get in there and see you that day. I will admit, I've been struggling with the thought of losing you, so I was so nervous that day - what if there was no sac to see? I should've been around 6 weeks, so there should have been a sac with you in it at this point...and then I could only dream that I would've saw your heart beating too. I didn't want to get my hopes up going into all of this, just in case it wasn't there.  So, I didn't have to be nervous long, there was the sac, and there you were. And guess what? Your heart was already beating away! I couldn't believe it! I just kept looking over at your Daddy and he was a little teary-eyed like me!  She asked your Daddy and me if we wanted to hear your heart beat too (like we'd say no, right?) and of course we said yes. So, she turned on the sound waves and there it was! Beating away at 117 beats/minute. I was ecstatic. Your Daddy was too. It made YOU soooo real. I haven't felt super pregnant, just a few things here and there...so this made all those worries go away...how crazy that you are the size of a grain of rice and you have a heart beat? God is so amazing, having you inside of me has taught me that more than ever before. The nice tech lady told us that you were probably 6 weeks and 2 days in the making - which put you to meet us for the first time on December 7th! She also said that if you wanted to come a little earlier on November 29th, that you could - that was her birthday. =) I'll take you whenever you are healthy, little one!

That's your heartbeat on the left/middle of the oval.  There are bright little lines stack on top of each other...that's it - just beating away!  You're just the size of a grain of sand at this point, so can't see much else!

Told Your Grandpa, Grandmas, Aunts and Uncles!

Again, God is good, because how perfectly did He time EVERYTHING about you?! Way too perfectly! So perfectly that your grandparents, aunt, uncle and cousins on my side were coming in for a vacation in a few days after we found out you were in my belly. We could tell them in person! They were going to be so excited and we knew it...and I can barely keep anything inside for too long (and God only gives us as much as we can handle, right?!)...so the three day wait must've been about as much as I could handle! Although, your Daddy tried to break me down and call them before they came (because he was too excited too!)...but somehow - not sure how - I said, let's just wait! And so glad that we did. We met them over at their vacation house when they arrived in Phoenix and brought a stack of pics with us from when we had hung out with the McCully's in the last month here in AZ and Vegas (which, by the way, will always be a lucky town for you!). We had put a picture in the stack that we made of a stork carrying a baby and the words, "Baby Marin, Coming Nov - Dec 2010". I gave the stack of pics to your grandma (she's going to want you to call her Mimi, by the way) with your grandpa (he'll be Pa to you). After a few pictures in, "your" picture came up...and I think you confused your grandma already! She thought it was an old baby announcement for Meghan (McCully) Benson's little girl Marin (yep, her first name is our last name!) and kind of passed the picture off to Pa...and then grabbed it back again and it all started setting in with the both of them. All of a sudden they got it and started hugging us and tearing up...then your Aunt Nikki and Uncle Ryan figured out what this was all about and hugged us and congratulated us too. Your cousin Kiara, was a little more of a hard sell (I think she liked having me to herself up until now)...but I will say, after being a little sad in that moment, she gave you a kiss every night during their vacation (she kissed my belly before we left Mimi and Pa's house). Vera, of course, hadn't a clue what was happening. =)

Then, your Daddy called your other grandma and your aunts and uncles on his side about the news (you have lots of aunts and uncles on his side - he has lots of brothers and sisters!  Can't wait for you to meet them!). They were all so excited. Your grandma was the hardest to get ahold of - she's quite a busy lady, even in her 70's - so we didn't get to tell her until the next morning. She was super happy about the news and is betting that you are a boy. Only you and God know that at this point...so we'd love it if she is right...but, to be honest, I'd still love it if she was wrong too. I just want you perfect and exactly the way God made you! Although, your Daddy does need another boy in this household with him...so I'd love for that boy to be you! =)

First Ultrasound

Originally, the nice doctor that found out you were in my belly thought that I may be as far along as eight weeks. A little scary since I really wanted to know as early as possible to keep my bood sugars under control so that you could be as healthy as possible, but very cool if I already was that far along with you! So, she ordered an ultrasound and I got in the next day. Your Daddy came with me (because, yes, he's that good of a Daddy) and we found out that there was no sac yet, meaning, I couldn't be eight weeks along. The tech was almost positive that I was pregnant because everything else looked like it, just no official sac yet...so I had to be just four weeks. Well, a few blood tests later to see if my prego hormones were rising at a good rate and we figured out that this was true...I was only a little over four weeks with you at that point.


This was HUGE to me...a little disappointing at first (because we really wanted to see you on the monitor that day!), but so very much a big deal because I found out you were with me at the earliest point possible, pretty much. And what's that mean? That means, I can make sure and take the best care of you as possible, by monitoring my blood sugars and food to the best of my ability. I get scared sometimes that I have a high number here or there...and it seems like mostly it's for no reason (I have been sooo anal about bolusing the right amount, checking every hour, etc.)...but I know in my heart there is no way I could do better taking care of you. I give the highs to God...He, after all, is the reason you are here and is going to make sure you are the way He wants you. Gotta give this to Him.